The Hosts
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AARON MCCARGO JR Winner of the Next Food Network Star and host of Big Daddy’s House. Likes: oversized gold hoop earrings and the taste of hospital food. Dislikes proper pronunciation and basic grammar. |
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ADAM GERTLER Known to most as “The Guy Who Should Have Won Next Food Network Star.” He lost to Aaron McCargo, but what the hell! Let’s give him a show anyway! “Will Work For Food” premieres in January 09. |
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AIDA MOLLENKAMP If you need answers to the most basic, obvious questions (“Can I zest an orange?”)… ASK AIDA. |
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ALTON BROWN The smartest man on the Food Network. Says “UHH” a lot. Can cook a 25-lb turkey using only candles and old mirrors. |
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BOBBY FLAY Hot tempered host of “Throwdown With Bobby Flay,” “Grill It! With Bobby Flay,” and 92 other virtually identical shows with “Bobby Flay” in the title. One of those guys who must be referred to with his first AND last name. Try just calling him “Bobby.” It’s like trying to eat just one Lays potato chip: you can’t. |
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DUFF GOLDMAN Host of “Ace Of Cakes.” Rarely seen actually doing any work. Has only one laugh, and Food Network plays it loudly whenever possible. |
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GIADA DE LAURENTIIS If her grandparents weren’t famous, Giada probably would have ended up working as a Hooters girl or a sorority house mother. Makes the same three recipes every episode. Overannunciates every word. No one needs to smile that much while mincing garlic, especially if you have a freakishly large animal mouth. |
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GUY FIERI Wears sunglasses on the back of his head 24/7 and thinks it makes him look cool. Can only eat at “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives” because more upscale restaurants would mistake him for the dishwasher. |
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INA GARTEN Always throwing parties so she can buy more friends in the Hamptons. Has a huge collection of oversized denim shirts. Husband Jeffrey never grows tired of playing second fiddle to her zucchini garden. |
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THE NEELYS These two need to get a room. I’m here to watch a cooking show – not see how many sexual innuendos they can make up about cucumbers. |
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PAULA DEEN Her kitchen costs more than your house. She’s rumored to occasionally wear a wig made entirely of butter, y’all. |
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RACHAEL RAY Once sang karaoke alone in Hawaii on $40 a day and was ignored by the crowd – and that says more than we ever could. |
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SANDRA LEE Two words: HIDEOUS TABLESCAPES. Her heart pumps 70% ice cold Russian vodka and 30% blood – thus rendering her SEMI-HUMAN. Unable to restrain herself from adding extract to store-bought frosting. |
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TYLER FLORENCE Tyler says “off the charts” more often than Madonna’s topped them. We once counted 5,235 “off the charts” in one episode. Andrew Zimmern thinks he’s the “least talented chef” on TV. |
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780 Responses
Excellent website! I love it. Sandra Lee is definitely part vanilla ‘Aiiiiigstract.”
Sandra Lee: Notice whenever a word has an “L” in it, whether the L is the first letter or any other letter in the word, Sandra Lee streeeetches the L sound out. It’s so incredibly obnoxious. “You’re just going to lllllllllove these.” “And just pllllllllace them on the plate like this.” “They’ll hold up a llllllllong time in the freezer.” Listen for it. You’ll want to shoot her after you hear it a few times. Also, what’s with the tablescapes? The premise of her show, “semi homemade” is to be quick cooking for busy working people. So busy working people are going to stop at the crafts store to make these gaudy, ridiculous tablescapes? Hmmmm, ok.
Ina Garten: “It’s got great flavor.” Can she say this any more often and any more boringly?
Bobby Flay: This guy actually seems pretty down to earth to me, believe it or not. I know some people think he’s arrogant or cocky, but I don’t get that at all from him.
Rachel Ray: Speak to us like you’re speaking to a classroom of kindergartners! However, she comes off in a pretty genuine way, as opposed to Giada…
Giada: Pretentious, self-conscious/camera-conscious little snob. You can just so easily picture how her whole demeanor changes from happy and sweet to B_ _ _ _ whenever the camera ISN’T rolling.
Sunny Anderson: Is she getting fatter and fatter?
Alton Brown: Yeah, right, ok, he’s smart. But is his campy demeanor annoying to ANYONE else after all these years??? The first couple years was fine. But after all this time? Come on, people.
Emeril: Is it just me, or does this guy butcher the English language almost every time he speaks (kind of like President Bush). “We’re going to begin to start to render the bacon…” Really, Emeril? “Begin to start?”
The Neelys: Yes, they need to get a room. But they seem genuine and pretty cool.
Michael Chiarello: Is he gay? Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but what’s the deal? He seems so gay, yet wears a wedding ring.
Anne Burrel: She has her charms.
Guy Fieri: His lingo is pretty stupid, but he has his charms.
Alexandra Guarnaschelli: Can’t stand her, but can’t quite put my finger on the reason. I think it’s seeing her judge in “Chopped.” She just takes the whole thing a bit too seriously, and seems like a snooty little snob.
Cat Cora: I like Cat Cora.
Mario Batali: One of the most down to earth guys on the network.
Tyler Florence: This guy is extremely boring and needs to be off the Network already.
Aaron McCargo JR: Another one of the most down to earth guys on the network.
Michael Simon: Another one of the most down to earth guys on the network.
Melissa d’Arabian: Probably a nice person, but not my thing.
So i agree with most of your analysis, Adam, but there’s a few I’d like to change… Here’s my list:
Sandra lee: My lllllllllleast favorite chef on the entire netowrk. First off, some of the stuff she says is just flat out wrong, though i can’t think of any examples at the moment. She has some of the worst ideas of anyone i’ve seen on the network and the stuff she tries seems pain gross. She also uses lemon and lime juice from a bottle, which is not only less flavor, but at the rate she uses lemon juice, it seems like it would cost a lot less to just buy lemons. Second, where does she come up with the prices on her newer show: MMMMMMMMMMMMMoney Saving Meals (she does it with Ms too.) She acts as though every item ever has the same price no matter where you buy it (both from varying stores to parts of the country). MMMMMMMMMMMMMMoney Saving Meals is just an excuse to give Sandra an extra block during the day, probably to take up time. It’s the same as her other show, only with made up prices. Last, i’d like to point out that she usually doesn’t taste her own food, but when it comes to “cocktail time” she always has a minute to taste it and comment on how delicious it is. also, tablescapes… that’s all i feel i have to say about that. I feel bad for her family, though with names like “Brycer” and “Kimber” (nephew and sister, respectively) i feel bad for them regardless.
Now that that rant is over… the rest of them will be shorter.
Ina: Not only does she say “it’s got great flavor” a lot, but keep an ear out for “how simple is that”, you might want to punch something every time she says it. I know i do. Also, she’ll mention to use GOOD [ingredient] in a dish, and follow it up nearly always with “it makes a huge difference”. Thanks Ina, i wouldn’t have guessed that a better version of ingredient would make it any better.
Bobby: I’ve heard a lot of contrasting things about Flay. Some people say he’s down to earth, some say he’s a complete tool. He has some interesting ideas, but not a whole lot of personality. I’ve heard on Throwdown he deliberately pulls back his ability, to give the other chef a chance. I’ve noticed he’ll occasionally do something to give himself less of a chance to win: in some of them he’ll know beforehand (since it’s his show) that the judging will be on authenticity to a dish, and then flat out say that he’s not doing something the authentic way. Also, watch his reaction when he wins on Throwdown. Every time he’ll shake his head and make up some excuse that he “got lucky” or something and just flat out say that the other chef’s was better. Why make a show about challenging people when you hate to lose? Why hold back if it’s a competition? Why not just make a show about suggesting good food/restaraunts to people? Flay is an enigma to me.
Rachel Ray: she’s going to lose her voice any day now, you can tell in every episode, so what does food network think is the logical thing to do? Give her a talk show of course. Her ‘teaching’ style is a bit underwhelming, but she has good ideas sometimes. Her style of naming everything in her own way is annoying too. “stoups/stewps” and stuff… it’s a little too much for me. She’s nothing on the level of Sandra in my book, and i even occasionally like to watch her show, but she’s nowhere near my favorite.
Giada: I. HATE. THIS. B****. There, i said it. She puts the wrong emphasis on every syllable. i hate that she uses the Italian pronunciation of every ingredient. I hate how she pronounces anything with an “SH” sound in it, Every time she says prosciutto i want to throw something at my TV, and she says it a lot.
Sunny: I like her personality sometimes. I saw a new episode today (had a different intro) and she actually seemed a bit thinner than usual, but i could have just been seeing things. I’ve made some of her recipes and they’re not that bad. In my book, shes a peg or two above Rachel.
Alton: Being a kid who grew up on stuff like “Bill Nye: The Science Guy” and “Beakman’s World”, I really like Alton. The nerd in me is at peace when i watch Good Eats. He says “UHH” a lot, i agree, but i can get past that. Alton is my favorite by far, also i’ve tried lots of his recipes from FN.com or just straight off of the show, and they were all delicious.
Emeril: I’m a little wavy on Emeril. I’m not really sure how to react to him… He has some good ideas, but he does butcher the english language. His personality is weird and every time i hear “AND THEN!!!” coming from the TV, i make a fist and think ‘Shut up and cook. Stop trying to be goofy.’
The Neely’s: Everyone else has covered these guys enough for me to skip them and just say i agree.
Michael Chiarello: my girlfriend tries SO HARD to try and convince me he isn’t gay, but i just can’t comprehend. he looks, acts, and talks like he is, and we know how well that theory works with ducks. Regardless, i don’t mind his show, his ideas and recipes are interesting at best. I hate how he pronounces the sound of the letter L sometimes though.
Anne Burrel: She’s alright, i haven’t caught her solo cooking show enough to get a good feel for her personality and cooking style. Her teaching style on Worst Cooks is a little like Rachel Ray’s, It’s like she’s talking to first graders. “What color are those shrimp now? huh? That’s right! They’re white! Very good!” Though to be fair, the cooking ability of the students almost warrants it. I don’t hate her, but i won’t go as far as to say i really like watching her.
Guy: I’ll be honest, and i think i’m in the minority when i say i don’t like him one bit. He tries WAY too hard to be the ‘Rad, Wacky, Out of control, really cool guy’. His lingo makes me angry, his cooking style isn’t my favorite, his personality is just dripping with “WHOA! Check out how wacky i’m being now! It’s so out of place but so cool!” (you know he’s saying that to himself at every moment.) He even went, to try and seem cool, as far as to name his children “Hunter” and “Ryder” (yes, it’s with a ‘y’), And i swear that on the TV in the background of Big Bite, it’s videos of him snowboarding/surfing/hunting/doing what cool guys do, as if to say “HEY! LOOK AT ME! I’M INTENSE AND YOU KNOW IT!”
Guarnaschelli: She totally takes everything way too seriously. On chopped, when she’s judging something and someone talks at any time, she gives this ridiculous look that just screams “What did you just say to me, B****? I am a WAY better cook than you, don’t even consider talking to me.” She just seems uptight and high-and-mighty, but that might just be me.
Cora: don’t see enough (really any) of her outside of ICA, so i can’t get a feel for her. no comment.
Batali: He seems really down to earth and cool. Get rid of the crocs though.
Tyler: I like the show, i don’t really like him. his style and personality are just slow and uncomfortable to watch. His food is usually delicious though. My girlfriend LOVES him and tells me often that she would leave me for him at a moment’s notice, given the chance. I don’t get it.
Aaron: seems cool. havent tried his recipes, but they sound delicious.
Michael Simon: I don’t like his accent, really. Other than that i like him.
Melissa: I liked her in next FN star, though totally wanted the other guy (Jeffrey) to win. She seems like the perfect person to have a show since all her cooking is home taught for home cooks. Haven’t seen much of her show though.
Paula: Also butchers the english language, though her food is also delicious.
Aida: something about her i don’t like. can’t place it though.
Duff: i’m nearly 100% positive that the whole bakery team takes every off-camera opportunity to smoke weed. I like Duff, if only for the occasional neat cake they design.
Mark Summers: Not discussed yet, He’s the dude from Unwrapped. My inner child wants to like him from memories long past of Double Dare on nickelodeon (he was the host) but i don’t like how he does Unwrapped, nor do i like that they have to put 2 episodes back to back every time it comes on. The way he speaks, like how he puts a brief pause before the last one or two words at the end of almost every sentence, is annoying. Nearly every sentence is said in the exact same way… I just don’t like it.
The Food channel was great back in 1996 when it was all about cooking back-to-back cooking shows. Now it’s all about packaging annoying personalities and who gives a shit restaurants in Podunk Alberta or whereever… bummer, but that’s evolution…
P.S. Unwrapped – it’s just a informmercial disguised as a food program.
I agree! I started watching when it was back to back cooking not all of this contests and ace of cakes, etc. Very boring except saturday and sunday mornings!
they have a new network for cooking……..its called the cooking channel or the cooking network or something like that
Taste with david Rosengarten. Best FN show ever!
Let’s all play a drinking game!
One shot every time…
-Ina has a party of gay men over when her husbands out of town
-paula says ‘peeecans’
-guy wears something ‘midlife crisis’ of a nature
Nooo, every time Paula says, “vinegar-ette” or “pappareeka,” or when Ina says, “How _____ was that?” or “Who wouldn’t want that?”
I enjoy watching both of these ladies, but ack!
when i first saw Ina husband on the show i actually thought it was one of her gay friends
hahahaha Nah I’m good I dont wanna die of alcohol poisoning
Marc Summers
Says Everything
In the same
Cadence
Its so annoying
He always uses
This exact
Phrasing
I want to kill him
Everytime he
Says anything
At all
I cannot bear his
Annoying style
For more than
A minute
Mark Summers (Unwrapped):
I wondered if anyone else noticed the pause in every sentence. Once noticed, it stands out every time now. Must have been something in his Radio & TV training. I’ve heard news anchors/narrators do the same thing. It must be used as a device to hold… your attention.
that is what its suppose to do…..but it does soooo much more.. ugh
Actually Marc Summers has severe OCD. Google it. I am quite sure that influences his every action in life including his speech patterns.
Mark Summer has a very serious case of OCD. I saw an interview with him where he talked about how debilitating it was. It was so bad that it got to the point where he would straighten the fringe on the rug under the table in the dining room. He is receiving help and the way he talks is part of the therapy to offset his affliction.
A couple of years back, I had watched Alex Guarnsashelli on some kind of competition.. She lost and was such a sore loser,she kept giving dirty looks to every one else (I do not remember what show this was). I would love to see her compete on Chopped, and see what her Royal Highness could come up with. She is so rude, I cant stand watching her..
Agreed
She lost on Iron Chef America a while back, but I don’t know if that is the competition you are talking about. I don’t really remember her reaction to that.
I don’t know what it is exactly that bothers me about her, but ugh!
i agree
Amen to that!
I agree. She seems like such a snotty b**** on everything she’s on. She’s up there on my list of food network stars I hate. Seems like we all agree that Sandra Lee is the worst.
I like most of what all you guys have to say, but here’s my summary on sandra
1. she can always find a way of how to smear something like shake and bake on chicken breasts and call it her own recipe.
2. Tablescapes and cocktail time, thats all ive gotta say on this one. She must have been drinking too much of her “DELLLLLICIOUS” cocktails when she started designing some of those hideous tablescapes. they’re only a distraction tactic so you stop thinking about how disgusting her food is and start thinking about how no idiot on this planet would ever use one of her tablescapes.
3. Her $$saving meals are just another distraction tactic, of which she demonstrates her shake and bake chicken once again to us but includes prices she dreamt up during cock-tail time, so that we think that this food is really doing something for us. Really, we’re just poisoning ourselves by buying the $0.50 per lb. month old chicken.
4. she says that her cooking is 70% store bought and 30% homemade. It’s really 94% store bought and 6% vodka
5. And the grand finale- she once bought a cake at the store and made ganache to frost it as a dessert recipe. She makes the ganche and frosts the cake. Then, she tells us that she is going to also make truffles for dessert. Instead of pulling out the extra ganache sitting on the counter, she pulls out, no joke, a frozen container of betty crocker chocolate frosting. Really Sandra, really? Normal people would use the perfectly good truffle making ganache sitting right in front of her. But kudos to you sandra, you used what should have been used to make truffles as frosting, and what you should have frosted the cake with as truffles.
•Moonrayr○se•
I believe you meant Barry Sotoro when you compared President Bush to Emeril. The least experienced man in every room can’t speak without a teleprompter to help.
Gianda-
I just have to add to what I’ve read about Giada. It took me awhile to figure out why she bothered me so much. Finally, I realized it was her awkward smile. She seriously grits her teeth together and smiles so wide you can see both upper and lower teeth. Another incredibly annoying thing about her is the way she tastes her food. It’s almost like a rat. She chews so fast and exaggerated it’s hard to watch. Of course the whole Italian pronunciation thing has to be the worst!
Ina- Her use of the word good when referring to half of her ingredients drives me nuts. By good does she just mean expensive…I have never heard an explanation of what “good” means to her. Also, her recipes always seem so out of reach. Some of her dinner parties must cost hundreds of dollars. If I’m having friends over I need to do it for about 40-50 bucks.
Neely’s- I do like them but it does seem to be fake. But hey, that’s the persona they have created for themselves and I guess they always need to be on….especially for the camera!
So Michael Chiarello ‘seems’ gay to you? So this is coming from two straight guys, is that it? Well I am gay and I think my gaydar is pretty damn good and has very rarely failed me and I have never had the feeling Chiarello was anything but a straight arrow. If he is gay I want his address! I have cooked many of his recipes and he knows exactly what he is doing. I miss him and his show. I guess he wasn’t enough of a buffoon for the Food Network!
As far as the Neelys go I can’t get past the fact that neither of them seem to realize that they are miked so they yell all the time!
…i love michael chiarello n his show…and not that it makes any difference to me, or that its even my business (i’m not the one sleeping with him, after all ) but there have been thoughts that have crossed my mind while watching the show…”gee, he always has guests n dinner parties, but i never see a family…or for that matter i never see a wife though i see a wedding ring…” but i’ve decided, in the first place, i’m thinking with a totally heterosexual mindset (wife?), and i think he’s cultured…he seems to have european influences about him…he’s sophisticated, has a personable, easy-going manner, can cook up a storm and he’s sexy, to boot…a lot of the men i know would think he’s gay, but i think he’s just not a redneck…like a lot of the men i know :)
Actually, Michael C. has had his wife on the show several times, and has cooked for her on those episodes.
But I’m not saying that has anything to do with his orientation.
Giada deLarentis has the most annoying way of raising her voice an octave at the end of every sentence and when she turns on that grimace of a grin, I’m reminded of that commercial with the doggy dentures!
Thank you, thank you. I don’t understand how anyone can watch Alton Brown – his schtick is ridiculous, distracting, and annoying. I cringe every time he puts on a “skit” and he is just so corny!
Giada – the most condescending, patronizing, cleavage revealing snot! Yes, she is pretty, but she is mean. Just saw an episode where she concocted a (not making this up) blueberry collins drink with gin and thyme simple syrup. She had her girlfriends over for lunch, then proceeded to tell everyone to “drink responsibly”. Like they’re going to get wasted on one drink?! Then she singled out one girl by saying, “Look at so-and-so, she has already knocked hers back, Sh likes her cocktails!” Well, the camera pans to this poor woman who hasnt even had a sip, and she looks mortified! Why, Giada, why be so freaking mean? Oh, and stop calling people older than you “sweetie.” So patronizing!
Giada-is the most annoying of all the chefs-did you also notice that her Husband TOOODDD could care less about her or her food and appears gay to me. Her aunt, (forgot her name) looks as though she thinks Giada doesn’t know what she is talking about.
And If I see one more recipe with lemons, I’m gonna be sick.
Finally-those people she calls her friends-must just be extras for the show-none of them appear to like her much.
I’m with ya 110% re: Giada! Actually, I think the people she has on the show are her real friends, and I think they come across just as snotty and pretentious as she is! Birds of a feather! And yes, her aunt (Raffie?) treats Giada like she doesn’t know how to cook – hilarious!
omg. i totally agree with you. i googled her and her husband works as a fashion designer at Anthropologie. Like come, my gaydar is never wrong.
Adam, you are so spot on with everything you said! Ha! I have to add that me n’ my sisters love to bust on ‘big head’ Giada. Ever notice how she sounds like an American Valley girl, but then when an Italian word comes in to play, all of a sudden she sounds straight up from Italy? PanCHETTTTTAA! Hahaha!
I am a black female and i have enjoyed the Foodnetwork for a decade. It has evolved into something other than a foodnetwork. i can not stand those Neelys. Gina big wide mouth gets on my last nerve and her husband seems a little G%$ to me. I get so tired hearing him talk about how he met Gina..who gives a d^&*. The foodnetwork use to be a network where the kids could enjoy the shows as well. Gina always has those big ^&& breast out and showing all 123 teeth in her mouth. Give me a break. I’m not hating because i am a very attractive lady with 40 C’s and a nice face and frame. Also, Paula…..you need to sit yo old &** down and stop acting like a horny grandmother. I use to love watching your shows and thought that you were such a gentle spirited lady. I remember when you had the sailors on your show…you had one of them licking icing off your finger…come on Paula, that is a bit overboard for a married woman or a single decent female. And Big Daddy…..you look like a d%^& fool with those two earrings in your ears. I remember this cartoon character called, “Shamoo” or something like that…well thats exactly who you remind me of. Stop acting like …….you know what i mean.
I agree with you 100 percent. I cannot stand the Neelys for the simple reason that no married couple can be that happy and hot for each other 24/7. They make me sick with all their brown sugar talk. Just shut up and cook or quit and go get a room
I adore FN and watch it all of the time, it’s comfortable and delightful..although the now ginormous pop-up ads that flash across the screen every 3 seconds is pretty obnoxious. But anyway, I find this site amusing just like everyone else. I probably have a more forgiving attitude toward most of the hosts though:
Bobby Flay: Love him, he worked hard to get where he is and he’s packed with NY attitude..love it. But unlike those who find him arrogant I just think he’s low key and down to earth. As someone else said somewhere, he is absolutely right to show his disgust for the lame ICA judges to tell him his food is not to their liking. When some idiot on that show tries to sound like a real food critic I cringe and can’t imagine what runs through his head.
Sandra Lee: aka Stepford Wife. I’m convinced that she’s a robot who has been programed to makes us think that mixing Spam and Ramen Noodles together is some kind of great dish. She’s fake, can’t stand her show.
Tyler Florence: Love his show, I don’t agree that he’s boring, I don’t need constant fireworks and laser beams to be engaged. He’s good, genuine, and passionate about the art of cooking. I like watching him cook. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think he’s just a big good lookin’ dude that dressed a roast chicken in a jacket of bacon. That’s yum on a few levels.
Sunny Anderson: I like her, she’s gorgeous, but I can’t watch her often because she literally doesn’t take a breath from the moment the show starts to the moment it ends. Constant chattering about her personal life. We all like to feel like we can relate to these people but wow…take a breath and just cook. Every host has their quirks that make them fun but I don’t like how she says that “if you don’t have….or….., you’re more than welcome to go ahead use….” I’m more than welcome? Am I in your house or mine?
Ina Garten: Absolutely love her. Yeah, she’s low key, but I adore the fact that she’s not bouncing off the ceiling or talking constantly about things that no one cares about. She’s a great example of understated class. I love her simple rustic style. She’s quality and she just cooks. And I happen to like watching her with her gay male friends…they look lovely. Nothing wrong with that. It does occasionally irk me when she says to use good this or that, but I think she values quality ingredients and if she can get some people to think more about what they buy and at least once and a while splurge on “good” vanilla extract to experience the difference than more power to her. Love Ina.
Rachel Ray: She’s absolutely exhausting, can’t stand her. Her voice and laugh make me hurt on the inside. I don’t care what she cooks, can’t watch her.
Guy Fieri: He has grown on me, I don’t care for his cooking show or his silly custom made knives that are supposed to get guys to want to cook, but I do like Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. Sometimes he comes across as a fool, but I appreciate watching other people do cool things in their own kitchen restaurants.
Melissa D’Arabian: BORING in every way.
Giada: The fakery is just overwhelming I can’t stand how everything is just so perfect and has this white glow on her show. She made breakfast for one of her child relatives and brought it to her upstairs, the perfect waif like blond girl was in a giant white bed while the white lace curtains flapped gently in the summer breeze. Giada got in bed with her and presented goat cheese crostini or something pretentious like that. I fully expected them both to sprout Angel wings…disgusting and really fake.
Mario: loved him, just a real guy who loves food and damn good at cooking. I’m glad his shows have ended up on The Cooking Channel. Loved him on Iron Chef America with Emeril. Although I have yet to be inspired enough to try one of his recipes, they seem difficult and expensive. But he’s fun to watch.
Emeril: Used to love him, got way too annoying and commercial. And yes he is a butcher of the English language so I stopped watching him and can’t really get back into his show.
Ann: Eh, she’s kind of annoying and definitely has that Kindergarten teacher voice going on. I don’t appreciate how she personifies food. “Make sure you get all of the little guys into the pan.” They’re potatoes Ann, not guys.
Robert Irvine: Love this guy’s show Dinner: Impossible, it’s just fun.
Alton Brown: Can’t get into his show, I appreciate his campy style but it gets annoying after a while. I do like him as the host on ICA though.
Robin Miller: Ewww, not a fun show. The reviews for her recipes on FN.com are mediocre at best. No wonder why her show is on at like 7am every so often.
Clair Robinson: the 5 ingredient theme is just boring. I don’t need to watch a cooking show to make an omelet with 4 ingredients in it besides eggs.
Paula Deen: I think she gets a lot of unnecessary flack. She’s so great. I adore her. I watch her all of the time. I know when I watch her I’m not going to hear about calorie counting or going to the gym after taking one bite of cheese cake. Her sons are really adorable too. I love watching them eat butter in various forms in between the Y’alls. Paula is pure personality and someone that is just comfortable. Her show is just as warm and gooey as her food. Love that.
I do think that FN is the happiest place on TV.
You are wrong about Sandra Lee, she is not a Stepford Wife, just hammered. Visited with her at length at the Food & Wine Festival (2010) in South Beach, and she was knocking back the Grey Goose, had her posse of very flamboyant gay guys (nothing wrong with that) they were way over the top and way drunk, so much so that Paula Deen’s security (major size black man with a no nonsense attitude) almost had to lay one Sandra’s “boys” out.
I think it should also be mentioned about Sunny Anderson the she pronounces the ‘L’ in yolk! Yolllllk! How dumb are you, Sunny?!?
Definatly not gay. Actually a bit of a womanizer. Ask my wife.
MARIO BATALI?!?!?!?! Ick. I would never eat anything his gross hands touched. Do you not notice he wears socks with sandals and shorts under his chef jacket? Ewwwwwwwwww. Also, he’s REALLY ugly.
Aaron McCargo, Jr: Very talented. Comes across as warm and genuine,
Guy Fieri: Lose the neck glasses.
Paula Deen: Down to earth and real.
The Neelys: Great chemistry and good cooks.
Rachel Ray: Probably needs a vacation.
Emeril: Master chef
Bobby Flay: Big personality.
Melissa D’Arabian: One of the warmest ladies on the Food Network.
I was sent a link to this site, I’ve only watched a total of 2 hours of food network ever (on business trips), and I have a suggestion for you-all: throw the TV out the window, get in the kitchen and start cooking.
While it’s true that FN stars are annoying, and often, they do teach a lot of interesting and useful information. It’s not as though i sit there and say to myself “Man… if only i could cook, i would make this and it would be delicious.” not at all. I watch it to get ideas for new dishes and to learn what can be prepared in however many different ways and what flavors blend well together.
To Marty: Most of us cook quite a bit, but thanks for the advice. That doesn’t mean we cannot critique what’s broadcast on Food Network.
I dunno, Ferd, I think that makes us uniquely qualified to comment on these shows. While laid off from a job, I recently discovered that I am actually quite a good cook. Go figure.
Marty, you seem far too elite to waste your time commenting on inane cooking shows.
INA GARTEN is a snob!! I hate how she says that you need good vanilla extract, yeah yeah we all know you have $$$$$$$. I wish she would overdose on her own “good extract”. I hate her stupid laugh ahuhu ahuhuh ahuhu, irritating! Her husbands a idiot! With all her money why doesn’t she buy new clothes and lose weight! Brag brag brag! Always acts like her friends have no clue on how to throw a party! Come on, quit acting like they just arrived on earth!
I don’t know who is more irritating her or Giada(square mouth herself)!!!!!!
“her husbands A idiot”??? Who is the idiot?? Learn proper English grammar if you want to be a critic. Idiot!
L this is about the hosts on the FNC not about grammer. You need to lay off the raw meet cujo.
I agree with Pete….this is a place to reply about these piss poor so call chefs. It really had gone from sugar to s%^&.
She says and be sure to use good vanilla, what the heck you think im going to use, bad vanilla.
She says use the good stuff I figured as opposed to faux vanilla. Yes. Cheap vanilla can taste like alcohol. And I have been served that many a time, so yes. You might use bad vanilla…
I always have the feeling that if she didn’t do the cooking, she wouldn’t be invited to anyone’s home. She says, “How gorgeous (easy) (simple) is that?”, etc. and laughs much too long and too hard. Doesn’t quite fit with the Hamptons crowd, me thinks.
That’s why I like Ina-because she doesn’t fit in with the Hampton snobby crowd. Can’t stand the Hamptons, they are a bunch of phony stuck up boney a**ed snobs, living in over priced houses on ever shrinking sand dunes.
Yes, she has a weight problem-so what, her recipes are great most of the time. The only issue I have with some of her shows is the appearance of the florist friend who makes centerpieces out of fruit or vegetables and how Ina raves about them. Other than that, I like her show.
All you complainers….you’re just jealous you don’t have good cleavage like Giada, good vodka like Sandra, or good vanilla like Ina.
Ah, yes, the “you’re just jealous” argument…no, like a fine wine, that never gets old…
Don’t care about what Sandra Lee makes, she’s hot. Rachel Ray isn’t hot, and she’s in no way interesting. Why in the hell can’t you say delicious all the way through? Why is everything in your kitchen god awful rotten pumpkin colored? Why is everything in your kitchen abbreviated? Jesus, retire! Go have Oprah give you something else to do until you come up with something besides a new chicken burger.
Guy Fieri…guy…guy guy..
He’s a Southern Californian. Anyone who has been there knows, it’s all about material possessions and outward appearance. He’s a product of his environment. Also he never makes a manly drink. It’s always something with fruit and muddles and garnishes. I’d love to see him drink a beer or a bourbon and soda. Just once.
Ina Garten is the queen of droll. I have used her show to put myself and my son to sleep for a nap, and I’m not joking. Her voice is like water flowing over the rocks. So monotone, so smooth. Some of her food looks BAMF though.
Alton Brown-
NOTHING is wrong with this dude. He freaking rocks. Applying science and technique to create the prime way of making a food? Excellent work, sir. Uhhhh to your hearts content, and buy some Rogaine.
Flay, Morimoto, Batali…all these guys seem cool to me. Flay gets pissed on ICA when the judges(who are NOT cooks, just food tasters) critique his food. Rightfully so. I watched him imagine punching someone in the head, and I agreed with him. He didn’t do it but he had my vote.
…you know now that i’ve typed a little, I’m bored with this.
Everyone else on FN kinda sucks and prepares the same shit as everyone else.
And Melissa D’a…da..ara…bean…whatever, shoulda lost. She won because she’s a blonde chick and the other dude looked like freddy kreuger pre-burn ward.
Peace!
Uh…I thought Mr. Ferry was a NORTHERN Californian?
Northern, Southern, whatever. He’s still a jackass.
He is from Northern California.
I agree Giada’s cleavage is great. I bet Paula was extremely hot when she was younger. Also, I don’t know why people don’t like Rachel as much now that she’s successful. I think when we first saw her she wasa breath of fresh air. She practically orgasmed just thinking about a burger and the sparkle in her eye when she talked about food won us over. The fact that she is on TV about 20 hours a week is probably what did it. As for the Neelys I am sick of the “Spice Fairy” and want to slap her when she does that act. But I’d love to go to their BBQ joint anytime.
Mario doesn’t seem to be part of the team anymore which is too bad. He’s a decent fun loving guy
Emeril is back on FN/Cooking Channel now and I’m happy to see it. I even watched him on the green channel when I could. He is real. The Food Network started basically with Bobby Flay, Mario, and Tyler Florence. Emeril Live put them on the map. He still has the skill and recipes.
As for Melissa D’Arabian–I love her. She is a down-to-earth cutie who is one of us. Perhaps the women are jealous of her looks, that is normal.
Paula is still sexy at her age so she must have been extremely hot when she was younger (So was Ina in the pictures they show). If you doubt Paula’s cooking ability, try her No Peek Prime Rib recipe. It’s simple and fantastic.
Alex is annoying just like any other New Yorker. I had to laugh at her “on the cheap” meal when I saw her buy about $40 worth of flank steak as well as all the extras. Maybe we don’t like her due to her being a rich NY snob. Bu they’ve been sexing her up as well lately. I think she’s cute.
Aaron Jr is fun and Micheal Symon is a lot like me so I like him.
I wish they would show Morimoto more on ICA and let him speak English. He’s still the best cook on the network and has improved his English tremendously the last couple years.
As for Aida, I now watch her show for the food as well as her sexiness. She is very hot.
Thanks.
I grew up in East Hampton, NY (where Ina’s Barefoot Contessa ran Main Street with an Iron fist). She just really is that pretentious. After running into her and Billy Joel on almost a daily basis, it makes my stomach churn that she has her own show on FN. BOOOO.
It’s funny… I’ve always liked Ina because I like the fact that she learned everything on her own by trial and error rather than going to cooking school in Paris; yet I bet she can cook the snobby Giada under the table. But since you have met her was she really that snobbish? I guess I figured she would be somewhat snobbish but I actually thought she would be nice to fans…
Foodie, If you like Ina, like her. I wouldn’t go change my feelings regarding a food network host just because someone SAYS she’s a snob.
Talk about name dropping. It figures your from the Hamptons.
I have to agree 100% with every single review and description here. Ina Garten OMG she is such a snob. She is so conceited and is such a name dropper. It’s so obvious that these so called :”Friends” are all either on the pay roll by the food network or on her personal payroll to kiss her you know what and on camera tell her and the viewers how Fabulous she is. (what a joke). And what is up with her and France? THis woman has a degree in finance. She has no culinary training at all. It’s at least for me hysterical to watch her on the barefoot contessa show. She is so full of it and herself that it’s almost not funny but sad. I have tried a few of her recipes and I have to say they were just not good. Her idea of red sauce is a bad one. I tried her meatloaf and ewwwww it was bad. I have tried her English pudding and that was horrible/ Maybe go back to writing books about how great you think you are and stay the heck out of the kitchen. P.S. get a clue food network, the public doesn’t enjoy watching a woman talk DOWN to people while on a supposed cooking program. she just is not good…
Paula Deen in a word :”PERVERT” . THis woman needs to get a sex show not a cooking show. She is so full of sexual innuendo that it is just gross. Her sons ( who she gets in the shot/show whenever they are broke and need money) are ridiculous and just dopey. Talk about the dumb and dumber. THat would be Paul and her 2 sons. Yeah they know how to cook…. lol Use a little bit more butter toots.. ewwww perv perv perv and her food is nastyyyy. grease, fat and more grease. recipe for a heart attack. no thanks.
And then there is Sandra Lee. This one is really on the top of wacko. She says in her intro that she has been baking, cooking and entertaining since she was a child and yet she contradicts herself by saying when she was a kid she oftentimes went to bed hungry because they were so poor.. Which Is it there toots? SMH- It’s whichever way will keep her on the food network and receiving a paycheck. Her recipes are filled with processed garbage and she calls it Semi -homemade. At the end of the show she says :”It’s cocktail time” whoaaaaaaaaaaa man she can slam down the Booze. Yes we all down a drink or 4 every night with the Tablescapes that she says are so easy. First of all, those :”Tablescapes” are all afforded by the food network not her.. lol The average person does not have dishes for ever time you change your mind. The pl;ace settings are totally unrealistic and just nonsensical. Her ingredients are all packaged, processed and not healthy even just a little. How about her pronunciation of words. lmbo She really is a flop. GO AWAY Sandra
Maybe you did something wrong. I love Ina and have several of her books. Everything has come out delicious (with the exception of one recipe that had to be altered just slightly). Does she have to be trained to be a good cook? I never went to cooking school, and can cook, as did my mother, and grandmother. Is saying “good” a bad thing? I know people who buy imitation vanilla… enough said. I personally make my own because it’s cheaper, but seriously people. Some say Martha Stewart is a real bitch too, and I’ve met her and found it to be so far from the truth. BTW, what names is Ina dropping? Yes she says names, but no one the general public would ever know. If you don’t like something, just don’t watch it.
I’m an Ina fan and yeah, she says good too much, but I have to agree with stuff like vanilla. She’s got a calm voice which I like compared to some of the other host’s shrill or hoarse voices. The only name I’ve ever heard her drop was Mel Brooks and he was actually on the show that time.
I’ve been cooking for nearly 40 years and I’ve done many of Ina Garten’s recipes and found them to be quite good. I do think she’s a bit precious and cooks without a thought to cost but that doesn’t affect the quality of her recipes. Personally I am pretty sick of the term ‘Foodie’ and those who claim to be one.
I have been cooking off Ina Garten’s “The Barefoot Contessa”
for years and the dishes have actually turned out really good! Come on guys, I think some of your comments are pretty harsh and too personal! Ina is on TV to share her food knowledge with you. She’s not there to be your best friend! So who cares if she’s actually snooty in person? If you don’t like her food, don’t watch her and don’t buy her cookbooks but you don’t have to be mean and call her husband an idiot!
I love “The Barefoot Contessa”s recipes” ! Just saying…
LOLLLL!!!!
I started noticing that Sandra Lee’s clothes matched the curtains in the background That’s going a bit far but I found it kinda funny.
Alex. It is hard to go from being such a B—- to having your own show and then expecting people to like you. Can’t stand her.
– Alton, I really like him and find him amusing.
– Anne Burrell. She makes me sick. The way she licks her fingers is disgusting. The amount of salt she adds to her dishes is ridiculous. Who could possibly eat anything she cooks. And what is up with all the growling?
– Bobby Flay. Arrogant!!! Enough said
– Giada: I can’t stand the way she pronounces any word she thinks is remotely Italian. Does she own any clothes that her boobs are not falling out of? She is so stuck on herself that it is sad.
– the Neely’s. Let’s talk about the fact that the Gina did not start the Neely’s Barbeque but takes all the credit for it. Wonder how Pat’s brother feel about that. You can tell that she is not really that “into” her husband they way he is with her. She gives him dirty looks all the time and is constantly telling him how to cook. They sound more and more like Paula Deen. Y’all this and Y’all that. I was raised in the south and we did not talk that way. Everyone is right when the say to much smut on the show and they need to get a room. They are so annoying that I can’t bear to watch their show.
–Paula Deen. Please tell me who told her that her blue hair looks good. And those white teeth and painted on tan look ridiculous on a woman her age. I swear if I see her come onto one more young man on her show I’ll scream. I have watched shows from 2005 and her accent was no where near as heavy and she had a lot more class. I believe she has forgotten how she got to where she is today and should really try to recapture that. I saw her on a Craig Ferguson show and she made a complete ass out of herself. She actually licked a stick of butter. She has truly become a real PIG!!!!!
– Emril. He is pretty creepy.
Awesome site,and wonderful assessments of TFN stars. I’ve been sitting here nodding. However, please:
More than one Neely is Neelys (because it’s a name, you don’t change the y to ie before adding the s).
If one Neely owns something, it’s “the Neely’s.”
If more than one Neely owns something, it’s “the Neelys’.”
++++++++++++
Carry on!
LOL! <3!
aaron mc cargo,
now that he sounds white i can almost watch his show. maybe they can come up with some cooking shows on bet.
can you sat sellout.
or at least change the name of his show to large father.
This is one of the most ignorant comments I have read in a long time. What does BET have to do with anything? Last time I checked, African-Americans were not limited to only being on that channel. You also stated something about him “talking white”. Really? You sound like an uneducated, racist idiot. It is one thing to rag on someone about their behaviors, but quite another to be hateful.
Yes. Yes, that truly is bottom of the barrel ignorant and a good (no, great) way to show the world your idea of what a real prick is! Congrats!
I just found this site, and I’m in tears from laughing so hard! I CANNOT, under any circumstances, stand Giada. Does anyone remember during the Next Food Network Star series when (during deliberations) she accused one of the participants of being too bubbly and like a cheerleader? That’s rich coming from her, because she’s so over the top and goofy with that oversized lollipop head and gaping maw. Then there’s Sandra who dresses to match her kitchen decor – I’m sorry but WTF is up with that? I don’t understand the concept of “tablescapes” either – you either get a hot meal or a decorative tablescape – you don’t get both by 6:00 p.m. Remember the white dress she wore with the green lanscape on it the day she did Italian (or something equally as lame)? It was like she had a tapestry draped across her body. Ugh!
What about Sandra’s white top with the red “holes” – including a big oval one in the stomach area. It looked like her insides were showing.
I remember that episode of NFNS! It was Kelsie (sp?) that Giada was criticizing. At the time, I remember thinking that Giada probably felt threatened that a young, attractive cook might be the next star. Does anyone remember the Iron Chef episode where Giada and Bobby faced off against Mario and RR? Giada looked PISSED when she lost, she couldn’t even smile.
I remember that show – she was pissed, what a sore loser
How about Sandra’s Halloween episodes where she changes during every commercial? I nearly puked when she did all these Marie Antoinette-type characters.
FYI, I hate virtually EVERYONE on this channel, soooo here we go………
Bobby Flay – So full of himself he had to call his most recent special ‘Bobby’s Ireland’ as if he owns the entire island. He’s about as irish as canned corned beef. I’m suprised he didn’t film this with a celtic cape and leprechaun hat and tell us his real name is Sir Robert Seamus McFlay. I like how he had potatos boiled in sea water and told the lady that served him, ‘I’m gonna steal that idea.” Wouldn’t be the first time though. He also thinks he invented the chili pepper just because he sprinkles a little poblano flakes on his kay-su-dee-yas. He’ll probably come back to the states and open up an irish joint called O’Flaynagans and serve those potatos for $30 a plate. Way to sell out your heritage Sir Bobby.
Guy Fierri – Is this guy an alcoholic or just have melatonin issues? He’s almost as red as his tacky lounge shirts he wears with his wrist bands and bling. Like California doesn’t have enough to be embarrased about, he claims ‘NorCal’. My stomach turns when I see him act like he’s down with the people at these shitholes he visits. I’m sure they’re really into him too, when he comes barrelling into the kitchen and sticks his sick ass greasy hands in everything. Thanks for giving our smallt own AIDS ‘bro’. You’re ‘off the hook’ all right.
Mario Batali – Thank god he isn’t on the food network anymore. He’s better suited for the Science Channel, as they research how fat someone can get before they explode. Mario, I don’t CARE if you’re an ‘expert’ on the history of Italian cuisine. We don’t need to know what direction the wind blows over the southern hills of Napoli while the organic fed cattle graze on the mint green italian grass. They all moo and shit the same, just like you, you bloated beast.
Giada – Moat-zaa-rreee-lah! Wow, you seem soo Italian now. She has a huge bobble head to match her bitchy attitude. Cooks some of the more boring dishes on the network and tries to make them sound interesting with overzealousness. If you want to scare the kids, show them a freeze frame of her smiling about pancetta.
Aaron McCargo Jr – I don’t know why he talks like his nose is plugged, his nostrils are big enough to house a set of soup ladles. If he lifts his head at the right angle, you can see his brain.
Claire Robinson – Close 2nd to Aaron for biggest nostrils on cable, though her nose is more piggish. She has the brilliance to make 5 ingredient dishes when salt, pepper, garlic and oil are 4 of them. Stop trying to be sexy and just make your plate of prison mush.
Paula Deen – How impressive to make a name for yourself by advocating one of the most basic cooking ingredients. Hmm, and you’re fat? No way! Just call your show the 2 words you overuse the most ‘Butter, yawl!’ That way we would know what you’re about and not have to waist 15 minutes to find out you’re gonna make something uninventive.
Duff Goldman – Star of the show ‘Ass Flavored Cakes’, basically filming a bunch of potheads tapping into their inner pastry chi by hanging out at a ‘bakery’. Metal rods and boards covered with frosting? Mmmm, I’ve got the munchies!
Alex Guarnaschelli – Just like Fieri tries to be hip at 40, this bitch tries even HARDER to sound interesting and sophisticated. Her words sound passionate but her face is drab and uglier than Rachael Ray’s mutt.
Sunny Anderson – Growing on a weekly basis, and I’m not talking about the ratings. Mentions that she was a military brat as often as she stuffs fudge in her mouth between shootings. Boring dishes, and eats like a slob at the end. The food wasn’t gross enough, I have to watch you drool on it, and slop out of your mouth during the end credits. Thanks.
Ina Garten – I’d like to bludgeon her with a ‘good’ club. Let me text my friend real quick at his 8 million dollar home..’Would you like to come over for cookies? Great.’ She is another one who has gotten progressively fatter over the years. I guess if you put sliced strawberries and whip cream in a $300 champagne glass, it’s fancy.
Neelys – Ok, just start screwing on the island countertop and get it out of your system already! ‘Gimme sum suga Gina baby!’ Makes me sick. Like we’re interested in watching a fat married couple flirt with each other while they marinade chicken with malt liquor and make BBQ spaghetti.
Ann Burrell – I think that she actually thinks she’s cute…disgusting thought, I know. Hey everyone, I’m a gross fat lesbian with way too big of a hair doo. I am also working reeeal hard on learning how to wear make up. I am original too, Mario Batali wears orange Crocs, IIIII wear red clogs.
Robert Irvine – Anyone who runs frantically to a stove and says ‘Oh my god the cakes!’ with an english accent is clearly at home on this channel. It’s hilarious watching him intimidate people with his size and volume while he tries to whip together a meal fit for a…….penitentiary. A buff guy making a quiche..good stuff, I mean, cherio! (tea pinkie extended)
BY FAR THE BEST COMMENT EVER!! I laughed so freaking hard! Thanks.
Love the site, the bios are the best part! L O L
This is hysterical! I was making a comment about Ina and that her only friends were gay guys who couldn’t get along without her cooking and she recommended this site! How funny this is! I’ve RSSed it! Keep it up, these comments are right on target! Couldn’t have said many of them any better.
Signed,
A confessed foodie
Wonder why she has so many gay men friends ? It is kinda funny.
Honestly? I think she’s self conscious. Most arrogant people are, deep down. It would also explain why surrounds herself with middle-aged gay men who will worship her and flatter her. Let’s be honest, can you see a straight middle-aged male getting up from his football game to play her “let’s decorate the table and make it FABulous!” contest?
Just cook the freaking food, Ina. We don’t need a fishbowl filled with colored beads, a fake flower arrangement and planted palm trees on the beach to enjoy good food with friends. Money isn’t everything.
This is great! I’m so glad you started this site. I watch Food Network every day and I love it but I still love to laugh at ‘em.
Word on The Neelys bio. I can’t stand watching their show because Gina feels the need to cram as many double entendres and sexual innuendos as she can in an episode. Their poor daughters, man.
And I just had a discussion about that Adam guy with my sister last night. While he was an engaging personality, he couldn’t be engaging and cook at the same time. So he lost and Aaron won. And while I’m no Aaron fan and don’t expect Big Daddy’s House to last (Big Daddy is who you call your pimp or whoever owns you in prison and Big Daddy’s House sounds like a porno), I’d be kind of peeved if I were him, to have gone through all of that to win the big prize and the one who lost to me gets the big prize, too.
Amen on the Neelys. If I hear her screech “Reeee-Miiiiix” one more time, I think I’ll slit my wrists. Both of them constantly look at the camera with the brightest, fakest smiles they can think of. And every time she so much as uses a verb (any verb can be made sexual), we’re treated to that pervy laugh of his; “Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh yeah, baby. I’ll bring you some sausage, right y’all?”
These guys try WAY too hard. It’s like they’re convinced you have to be a certain way to be on TV, when what people are craving is authenticity and down-to-earth cooking talent.
You forgot Robin Miller. She makes half-assed attempts at ethnic food, and calls everything “rustic”.
Robin clearly detests food. The Food Network needs to replace her with someone who isn’t anorexic!
Did anybody else see the show where Ina took a shot at ‘tablescapes’? She said she thought they were ridiculous or something similar. Since I can’t imagine redecorating my dining room for every meal, I agree. It’s also a bit mind-boggling that she coordinates her clothes, the kitchen, her ‘scape’, and her food. That’s W-A-A-A-Y anal. She’s a little 1950 for me with her ‘sweet’ everything and words like ‘kiddies’. Yuck.
Rachael Ray got where she is because of pure luck in her association with Oprah, but does have a talent for making cooking approachable. This is totally countered by her drooling greed and dishonest ambition. I haven’t been able to watch her for that rare diamond in a coal mine in quite some time. She has the fake smile of an old hooker without the benefits.
Rachael rose up through the ranks working very hard even as a young girl. She got her start on a local tv channel doing ads for Price chopper supermarket chain and her 30 minute meals. She had a segment on the local news each night for about a minute or two and she had a great personality. She really worked hard to get where she is today. But I find her very annoying now, she’s too cutsey with her words and phrases and laughs at things too much. She’s just not funny. But she is a big personality and have to give her credit, she did this on her own, really worked her way up.
Even though his stint with Food Network has not been renewed, it just wouldn’t be the same without a small shout out for Mario Batali and his orange crocs.
I know I miss big Mario as well! A real pro…
I agree. Mario’s the real deal. I enjoyed watching him on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. He seems really genuine, he’s paid his dues, he’s a REAL chef, but he’s humble and good-natured.
That WAS a good show, wasn’t it? Made me want to buy the book, as Jon couldn’t seem to stop eating his food.
You forgot Sunny Anderson, she of fake tabby weave.
You mean the Sunny that has lived everywhere, done everything and is an authority on everything? What cracks me up is that she does commercials for VIVA towels but on her show, the paper towel dispenser on the counter that she uses are the industrial brown ones. She gets real tiring.
AND she NEVER fails to bring up her boyfriend!
I love the whole concept of your site. No other foodie English major has noted the misspelled disclaimer at the bottom of the screen “”We are not assicoated with The Food Network”? Or perhaps it’s intentional?
Another foodie English major here. “Overannunciates” in Giada’s bio should be “overenuciates.” Over and out.
Actually it’s “over enunciate”.
Thanks for bringing that to our attention, Spork! It was a typo, and it’s been fixed.
Love this site! I just spent the past hour reading everything and can’t stop laughing!
i really love this website, i agree with almost everyone
Oh,I am in pain from laughing! Your whole website is “spot on” from beginning to end and written with enough familiarity for everyone to know you have to be a huge FN fan to get all this perfectly correct. I’ll be back for more….thanks for the funstuff!!!
Lol…Oh my god this is the best!!! I have laughed my ass off!!! I love the bios, it is just insane!! Keep it up guys!!!!
hey, Wikipedia says that Guy Fieri’s name is actually Ferry, but he changed it. What a wanker.
Well, wouldn’t you if you had a name like that? I mean John Cleese’s father changed his name to Cleese when it was really Cheese.
Yeah, my husband and I stumbled on Guy’s hometown when we were camping in Northern California. It is a cute old town called “Fortuna”. We walked into a bake shop, saw personal photos posted up of Guy and the gal in the shop said she went to school w/Guy — she was ridiculing that he changed his name. Wonder if he changed the pronounciation from Guy “Fairy” right before he went on “The Next Food Network Star”?
I went to college with a girl who went all through high school with Guy Ferry. She was so excited to know someone on TV when he was on NFNS. But boy does she laugh and laugh that he changed his name from ‘Fairy’ to ‘Fieri’. I guess he got teased all the time in high school.
I don’t know if I entirely blam him if he was hoping to get a TV deal, but I think it’s lame he can’t be true to who he was.
Actually, I grew up with Guy. He grew up in Ferndale, CA. The original spelling of his name is not Fairy, but Ferry. He just got teased that way. He is a few years older than me, but was always nice and friendly. Not a big fan of the look now or the glasses on the back of the head, but he still does a lot for the community.
Where has this website been all my life? I love it. I fell out of my chair with the Alton Brown and Giada bio. Love you guys.
LOL at the Robin Miller comment by CEE about her stuff being “half-assed at ethnic food” haha *high five* and yeah I love this website, it’s HILARIOUS.. and I thought I was the only one who noticed all those lame-o quirks those chefs and people have haha…
LMAO this is so funny and so true! I love the food network, not a food snob and love this humor cause it’s actually true. *grinning ear to ear like Giada*
This was so fun to find. Actually got here from Food Network itself – yes, its my homepage… Not sure I totally agree with the whole Tyler Florence ego stuff, but you are right about $80 for a frickkin casserole! LOL.
Love Rachael, worried about her health. I think she looks fake cuz she’s in trouble.
But beyond that, your daytime drama stuff totally cracked me up. BTW, I do believe Guy Fieri’s name is actually Guido Fieri. Might be spelling that last name wrong. Hey, I’m Scottish, not Italian.
Foodies RULE!!!!!!
I had not seen Tyler F for a few years and saw him recently. My lord, his head has become a big, fat, unstructure swollen mess with eyes hanging off the sides! I almost sent him money to cure that. What happened? How did he become a tub o’ goo??
HAHAHA. Oh man. This comment as well as this site is hilarious. I love Food Network but man these bios and stuff are hilarious! Keep em coming!
lmaooo
I had not seen Tyler F for a few years and saw him recently. My lord, his head has become a big, fat, unstructured swollen mess with eyes hanging off the sides! I almost sent him money to cure that. What happened? How did he become a tub o’ goo??
if you really listen, tyler says “alright” before almost every sentence!!!really, listen carefully, it comes out sounding like ‘…right” but it drives me crazy.
He also says ‘Bam’ after he throws in a spice or something. I think he’s trying to be Emril since “Bam!” is Emril’s catchphrase. My husband and I will sometimes TiVo Tyler’s show and turn it into a drinking game for how many times he says ‘Boom’.
I just finished watching an episode of Tyler’s Ultimate and you are so right on the money (do I dare quote Guy Fieri) He does say “alright” at the end of every other sentence. I liked him better on How to Boil Water, alright
Actually, I noticed too and it’s more like “awwwiiight?” LMAO!
Does Guy Fieri know something that I don’t? He keeps telling me to ‘look at the flavors’ he’s cooking. He either knows how to tase with his corneas or his food could kill me if I ate it. He doesn’t need that on his conscience too.
On this week’s Sandra Lee Money Saving Meals, she raves about the fabulous flavor that SALT gives to food. What a ninny.
What’s next Aunt Sandy, telling me that coupons are free and will save me money?
I just watched the show (in rerun from yesterday) from start to finish (UGH). Nevermind the food. To cook her “money saving” meals, she used the following: All Clad saucier, saute pan, large sauce pan, and the large pasta pot; net cost about $1000. Then she used a food processor at a cost of about $200. I don’t know where she came up with that onion chopper thing except during late night tv (“but wait! there’s more!!) at a cost of $19.95 (plus shipping and handling). Then there’s the mini blender for her money saving garlic chopping, probably another $20 bucks. The calphalon slow cooker retails for about $150. So just in cookware and appliances, she’s up to about $1400. If she (or FN) want to make a point of saving money, how about taking out a knife to manually slice and chop and then use pots and pans from WalMart? And if you don’t have alot of money, what up with cooking a dessert that cost more than the freakin dinners? I don’t get it. I really don’t.
me and my husband just sat here and read almost the entire website!
AWESOME
WHO EVER MADE THIS WEBSITE IS A LOSER AND EVERYONE THAT COMES ON THIS WEBSITE AND ACTUALLY READ EVERYTHING ON HERE IS A LOSER…U CAN’T STAND THE PEOPLE ON THE FOOD NETWORK AND YET YOU HAVE TIME TO MAKE A WEBSITE AND TALK ABOUT EVERY PERSON ON THERE I THINK YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS AND NEED TO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO WITH YOUR TIME
RE: THIS WEBSITE SUCKS!!!!!!
Uh, Oh, looks like someone hit a nerve with one of the FN “chefs”! My guess is Rachel Ray.
My guess — since their diatribe is in all caps, which = YELLING — is that it’s one of the FN folks who typically lose their temper and start yelling anytime they don’t get their way (Bobby Flay).
I don’t think this is a comment from Rachel Ray, but probably from Giada’s husband/in the closest gay guy. Yes this site does nail it pretty good one the FN stars. Rock on with the nerd, Alton is definitely my favorite with Bobby next. Yea it is hard to just say Bobby and not Bobby Flay. Keep eating, foodies and keep the humor coming.
I don’t agree with all the praises that alton is getting I don’t care which came first the chicken or the egg I just want to eat them. Really don’t like him.
wow a certain case of “pot calling kettle”. but then again, this d**sh probably doesn’t even know what it means
There are some REAL cranky people out there!
dude you need to chill…. i think this site is spot on and you don`t like it!!! , well try watching some of these shows sometime, seriously, cause food network used to be classy and now it is a complete parody of its self!!!
First thing is STOP YELLING AT US!!! We can hear you just fine from where we are sitting.
“B”, learn to use your punctuation marks so we can get the drift of your feeble rant.
And finally, humor is the lubricant that not only helps us through this life, but acts as a pressure release to keep us from going Rambo on your A$$!
In the immortal words of Sergeant Hulka, “Lighten up Francis.”
What’s your point, Sucks?
Giada’s head seems much too large for that little body. Did this happen after she became a star or did her mom just have to push a little harder? Over the years I have noticed that the bigger the smile the larger her boobs got. I told my wife about this and she has been smiling for over a month. Unfortunately she hasn’t experienced an increase in bra size.
her head looks larger because she doesn`t gain any weight , she only eats two bites per meal .. then goes out and wind surfs and then yoga , then she has to work on those facial muscles . that takes a lot out of girl ….
I was just reading all the blogs posted on here and I have to say that I am truly angry about what people have to say about the stars on this channel. I happened to be a big fan of Down Home With The Neely’s because my husband and I act the same way they do however, I am not from TN. I live in B’more. I would love to meet them in person because they have fun about each other and what they do whether or not something is nasty or what. People that have negative things to say needs to get a life and stop hating on my brother and sister and the love they have together. Gina and Pat keep up the good work. My husband and I watch you every saturday and yes, you guys do bring back alot of memories.
Thank you,Sonya Bailey. I love in SC and I LOVE The Neelys.
I watch them everyday just after Barefoot Contessa (love her) and right before Paula Deen (love her). The Food Network is my absolutely favorite channel. I watch Big Daddy’s House on Sunday and look forward to it each week.
Why the negativity on all of these shows. Put the average Joe on TV to cook and see how darned hard it would be. I could never do it.
“hating on my brother and sister…” Are you seriously playing the race card? You suck.
It’s the only card in some people’s deck.
how is that playing the race card ….? please explain yall quick to say someone is using the race card…
What are you talking about? Even if “stop hating on my brother and sister” was said, it might just mean, stop hating on people.
You seemed to really zoom in on that one point.
Gina doesn’t talk, she YELLS. And her prancing around, sexual innuendos, giving orders, her goofy tinkle, tinkle, tinkle when putting spices in food is just intolerable. That’s all PLUS the usual BS you hear from these two horny toads. The “spice fairy” indeed!
I think that since their show is produced by Gordon Elliot as well as Paul “Ya’ll” Deen’s show they are made to be fakeish just like Paula. I was in Savannah yesterday and didn’t hear a single person say Ya’ll one time. As far as the Neeley’s I think that when they are alone that Gina is a control freak. I mean the looks that she gives to poor Pat sometime just kills me. I have one fundamental question.. is “Big Daddy” gay? I know he has a son, but so does my brother and hes gay. He just seems gay to me, and he reminds me of the mother character from “The Clumps”. I like to watch him cook though. I would love to try some of his recipes, but I can’t afford a $3000 grill yet. I think Guy Fieddi and Ann Burrell are siblings.. Giada’s chest seems to get bigger every episode… I think one day she will have to start binding herself or one of her boobs will get caught in the food processor. Well thank you guys for reading my comments, and remember laughter is the best medicine ever.
then wtf you doing here? geez some sheeple!
Ahhh! How very sweet, always down with the love thing,Buutttt ur not on national TV asking ur husband for his sausage are you? Smirk Smirk………….
Hey Sonya Bailey. First of all this is not a fan site for the ass kissing Neely fans. What, by posting here in support of these two horndogs you think they might read your comments & get in touch? Gees! Also if you & your hubby act just like them I hope it’s not in a public place. As for bringing back alot of memories is that mean making out after school behind the stands? Just saying.
yeah it’s pitiful pitiful jerks
For the record: You can only appreciate this web site if you are a faithful fan of the Food Network. Love it or leave it, we are all addicted to most things “food.” That being said, there is nothing wrong with poking fun at these people, they are after all stars with chinks in their armor. But the first requirement to appreciate this web site is that you have a SENSE OF HUMOR! If you can’t see through that, then mosey on, as they say on Twitter, “There’s nothing for you here,”
Pure Awesomeness! I love the Food Network, and love this site! As was said earlier, I’m glad I’m not the only one noticing these quirks in the shows. But I have a question, on Good Eats, Alton appears to be a serious dork, wearing Hawaiian shirts and such, but has some humility, but when you see him on The Next Food Network Star or any other show, he appears so serious and snooty, which is the true him? I hope the dorky one.
I think he’s a man that takes his craft very seriously. He never has to critique anyone else on Good Eats.
What’s with Sunny’s “how’d that get on my plate”? why dont they call it what it is, “unwrapped 2 with a woman host” Also, I don’t need one of her childhood stories every time there is some downtime in “Cooking for Real” It’s, downtime, deal with it genuinely. :P
What do you want in “down-time”?
I have to agree with Carole E. about being addicted to FN; it’s a train wreck yet I still can’t look away. Appreciation of this site certainly does require a sense of humor, which most people (in the U.S. at least) seem to be sorely lacking. As to jealousy of people like Sandra Lee, not even close; I can actually cook. I’m not afraid of slicing an onion or chopping garlic, and I have a high enough I.Q. and possess enough common sense to already realize most of her “money-saving” tips anyway.
I really can’t get over her advice about salt adding flavor. I knew that when I was five. Thanks for nothing Aunt Sandy. I find the concept of a money-saving tip show really nice, but having the queen of expensive, name-brand and prepackaged ingredients hosting it is just too hypocritical to be believed.
As for the Neely’s, they should just do the show from their bedroom.
Keep up the great job Food Network Humor.
Hilarious site. I love me some Ina and Giada BUT yoy guys are hilarious. Loves it:)
My take on Alton Brown at the new Food Network star dinner was that he appeared to be really embarrassed to be in that situation and uncomfortable in the company of so many phonies and hypocrits, ie. Susie Fogelson and Bob T. Also, perhaps the embarrassment of suspecting/knowing ? what a hoax it was caused him to appear to be in pain. I just discovered this webite, hooray and thank you!
All these “chefs” (cooks, etc.) that have shows on Food Network may have their own personality; however, at the end of the day, they are basically scripted as to what to say, how to say it, what to wear, how to look/dress, etc. (i.e. the Susie’s/Bob’s of Corporate Food Network!) Does anyone know how much these TV personalities get paid anyway?! Obviously they think it’s worth it to sign and try to keep a contract to keep their show(s) going on Food Network. Point is, you CAN see SOME of their OWN personalities coming through, but to what degree, who really knows?! I watch various Food Network shows for varying reasons, for me as a woman/foodie it’s mostly for the various food/recipe/ideas/inspiration, but RARELY is it for their (mostly fake) personalities, in my opinion. The diction and delivery for most of these people who have shows are quite limited and repetitive (not saying I could do better, just sayin’ they’re not good at it as a rule!) lol They just get fatter and older (of course now Alton’s lost 50 lb. so he’s on another dimension now, as well as Bobby Flay keeps himself trim, but both of them seem to speak weirdly now that they’ve lost the weight and look a bit “gaunt”, and of course Giada was going to lose all her preggers weight by doing her yoga at her trillion dollar new house on the beach with her husband Todd taking care of their kid and showing him surfing on every show)! lol It’s all basically very staged and fake to me, not realistic in cost effectiveness for most people to be able to afford a lot of the food they make, they’re just cooks trying to be actors and a lot of money is shelled out on this whole thing (Food Network), so to me, it’s just another TV station making a lot of money and people can either watch it or not. I don’t watch it as much as I used to because it’s so ridiculous and fake, combined with the various lame personalities and I can only take so much of that sort of thing. It’s all extreme overkill and NOT “just about cooking” at all, which is supposedly the goal of FN is to get people hooked on it so it stays on the air, which I’m sure it will. Most of the people make me sick, to be perfectly honest! lol I don’t care because I will never meet these people and they don’t give a crap about anyone anyway! lol They’re rich and most of the rest of us aren’t! lol I think the stuff written in here is true and funny as hell! I think people who come in here to defend their beloved FN personalities don’t really need to come to this website, because, “WHY”?! If you don’t want to read anything about FN bullsh*%, then don’t come to this website! lol I think Bobby Flay is an a-hole (but he’s been TRYING to be “nicer” maybe because they told him to tone his smart-a** self down some?) Rachel Ray is a big-mouth, loud-mouth, who’s become very self-promoting about her dogfood helping other charity and all that crap, Paula has become a bit more FAKE and she’s always hitting on all the young men and slobbering all over them like she is with her sons which is creepy, Sandra Lee is like a wannabe Martha Stewart but she’s too “sweet” to be, Giada is ignorant and her gigantic horse smile and huge boobs pouring out of her v-neck tops and her over-pronunciation of words is just hideous and she’s so boring and uninventive, Emeril finally got smart and basically told FN to screw off and went to Fine Living channel, The Neelys should set up a mattress in the kitchen and screw while raising their arms up to the stove to stir the pots, Alton is now like a converted smoker and putting down fat people because he’s not fat anymore and he goes between being sarcastic and Mr. Geek (although I have always liked his food), Guy is just getting fat eating grease and just says “money” all the time with his white hair and sunglasses, Ina only has rich Jewish friends and gays and Jeffrey speaks and eats upon command, and ALL the women on these shows are such total CONTROL FREAKS it’s unbelievable, like they would cut your throat if they didn’t get their way, the older shows I used to like aren’t on the air anymore, they’ve got to keep so much fake BS going on, it’s just killed it for me. I like British TV a lot better actually… I’m American but lived in UK with my hub, but just sayin’… they don’t really FRONT about things as much in general… FN is just a bunch of BS and I still watch a few programs which I like OK enough and can tolerate them enough to watch them, but it’s just that you have to be able to overlook the BS.
:( Wall of text… oh God…
I liked your post. it was spot on!
I just happened to stumble upon this website when typing in does anyone dislike Rachael Ray, and I only wish I had found it sooner. this is probably one of the most hilarious websites I have ever seen, and what makes it so funny is that it’s true, because of this site watching the FN is almost unbearable. just to look at these clowns now knowing what their all about and how full of it they are. some people just hate to face the ugly truth about something or someone, I for one appreciate the fact that now I’m not one of the mindless fans who adore these fakes unknowing of the real monster that lurks beneath. this post was so true it’s scary it sums up everything we discussed and disliked about the FN in a nut-shell. lets face it FN will never have anyone who can save their image because their heads are too far up their A%*# I have moved on to the Travel Channel.
Damn Mimi! Are you finished?
Tyler is a bit “active,” but the guy has some really good recipies. I like his presentation.
I think the Neely’s come on so strong to compensate for Pat’s “sexuality.”
Y’ALL know that dude is light in his loafers. “Ain’t that right Baaaby?”
Alton is o.k., but I’d much rather cook with heart and soul than turn it into a science project.
Giada, thank God for famous last names. Gotta catch the show when her Aunt comes visiting from Italy. She takes Giada done a couple of pegs about her cooking style. It’s funny as HELL!
Anne Burrell- I hope you don’t stick your nose and fingers in the food when working at the restaurant. No customer wants snot & saliva in their food.
People, don’t take this website so damn SERIOUSLY!
That’s all I have for now.
Peace
i could not agree more!!!! especially about giada, she was so much better and easier to watch when she wasn`t
” at home” , i used to like her but now she annoys the shit out me!!!
OMG, me and my gf watch FN religiously and have honestly had most if not all of these conversations. This website is fantastic and I personally applaud all who joke and quip about our beloved chefs and the other people who try so hard.
OMG!! lmao
I was watching ‘All Star Grill Fest: South Beach’.
Paula just called Bobby Flay… wait for it… Bobby Lou!!!
Bobby called her on it, and she actually said that it’s what she calls her son (Bobby).
I just about fell over laughing when I heard that.
I can only say you must not be from the South. Everyone here tacks Lou onto any and every name ending in a ‘y’. It is a term of affection.
Meanwhile, Love this site!
I despise watching Sandra Lee, she is probably very nice if she ever unwinds, but GOODNIGHT, what a total control freak.
OMIGOD the women are SUCH CONTROL FREAKS it’s unreal! Sandra, GIADA is an obsessed control freak- (1) she never makes enough food for everyone to go around, then (2) she tells them where to sit, how much they can eat and God forbid if they go back for 2nds!, (3) then she tells them when to STOP eating and (4) when they can eat dessert, when to breathe, when to do EVERY SINGLE THING! She is a FREAK! She puts down people SO much! I would hate to be her husband or kid! lol I love when her Aunt Raffi was on her show because she tells Giada off everytime! lol Paul is a control freak, Gina even gets snippy with Pat who worships her dirty drawers! lol Rachel Ray– OMIGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s almost like you feel sorry for their spouses and children! lol I did hear Bobby Flay’s Texan wife get smart with him one time– that was funny! lol
Um, no we don’t [tack Lou onto the end of every name ending in a Y]. Please don’t insult all of us with that ridiculous, sweeping generalization. His name may be Robert Louis.
Paula still sounds like a tool when she does it tho’. I appreciate a good southernism as much as the next non – Yankee, but tacking “Lou” onto a name is not one of them.
Love discovering this web site. I laugh out loud every day I read it. Thanks for the pleasure you bring!
PLEASE do HGTV next!!!
omg! yes, this would be awesome!! some of the “tools” on that channel !
I LOVE your site! I watch the Food Network, often, and it is uncanny how “on point” (just kidding…he makes me want to slap a baby) you are about these people. Well done.
this website is the “super super simple russipie” for “yummo,” “good,” “not half bad,” and “AH-MAY-ZIIIING” fun! Luv this!
This site is really hilarious. My boyfriend calls me a “foodie”, but I caught him getting engrossed in The Next Food Network Star”..lmao…I thought we were the only ones who found Giada’s head much bigger than her body, but she is still very good at what she does and so are most of the other hosts/hostesses. I appreciate a little humor and what better way to do it than with a network we all love….
You guys forgot about Danny Boome, the hunky British host of Rescue Chef. Where’s his bio? Last I saw him was on Regis and Kelly for a date a celebrity segment. I was jealous and wished it was me that won a date with him. Food Network needs to bring in some single hunky guys that cook, then I’ll definitely be tuning in.
Yeah, everytime they get a half-way decent show host or even a good show, they take it off the air! Only the robot-goofball-FN icons stay… (or token shows FN think people want to watch!)
OMG: This site is 100% pure!!! Am a FN junkie, but am so sick of it recently, they have TOO many shows on, and the NFNS is a joke…where do they come up with these contestants???? Aaron McCargo is AWFUL…I am sure they have already decided that the Korean whale Kim Chee, Debbie is going to win…and she is so hard on the eyes….she looks like she has been run over by a steam roller in the face…always wears nazi-style boots, and a tent to cover her kimchee….she is as far from a “southern girl” as Giada “my head is so huge it affects the rotation of the earth” DeLaurentiis…Love Bobby Flay, Ina (“just cooking for more of my destitute but hilarious gay friends while my husband is out making money to support my fatness”)Garten, but Paula Deen (Hey Y’all, I’m making traditional southern coq a vin—she’ll add grits to make it “southern”, all her food makes me ill…not to mention the Rachel Ray network. She is too old to be “cutesy” although she does do those 30-min meals pretty well…Love this site!
Hate to be nit-picky but Giada “overenunicates” not “overannunciates”. Overannunciation sounds like some sort of arcane Catholic transgression. Her vivid enunciation of Italian words does not bother me but I do find her freaklishly large head and tiny body a little disturbing. She looks like a living doll – a bobblehead doll.
You are right on – on every personality. My only other comment would be for the Food Network to take that god-awful nasty giada (SP?) to be pulled from ever being on TV or any published photographs – ever. God that horrid smile is dreadful.
Yes, but did you ever see her photo layout in Esquire magazine where she was scantily clad and had marinara sauce poured all over her entire body?! It was freakin’ horrifying and disgusting, but they were promoting how sexy she was (saying it was food porn)… oh yeah, it was choice..
This site is too funny…Some folks need to get a sense of humor. In fact Tyler Florence finds it funny to poke fun of him….He linked this site on his website, that is how I found it!
now that’s just funny right there (yeah, only six months later lol) — especially who he is ;) Love Tyler
I stumbeld across this site, and laughed by ass off reading some of the commments posted.
I feel that Giada, Rachel, The Neely’s, Sunny Anderson, and Tyler Florence shouldn’t have shows.
Giada should tell people how to pronounce her name correctly. I hate hearing people say it ” G-Ah-dah “. Rachel Ray seems like a phony. The Neely’s are just annoying, Sunny Anderson should have made a carreer out of the Military, and Tyler Florence is probably the least talented of anyone I’ve seen on The Food Network.
Whomever told Guy Fieri his wrap around sunglasses looked cool on the backof his mouli should be lined up next to him, and shot along with him.
Sandra Lee is at least fun to look at!
I know some people that actually know Bobby Flay, and say he is really talented. His shows are worth a look.
The people that think Giada and Rachel are good food show hosts, many I know, are the same people who hated MARTHA STEWART and EMERIL. Martha and Emeril at least really paid their dues, and have some talent.
I enjoyed reading these posts.
Keep it up!
The shows I seriously dislike are Chopped and the Next Iron Chef. I mean we are talking about some seriously talented and hard-working chefs being given crap like dippity-do and melba toast and told to make something delicious. Riiiiight. Then they have to stand in front of a bunch of tight bottomed prigs as if they’ve been sent to the principal’s office and take the verbal crap dished out to them with a curtsey and their hat in their hands. Makes me sick. I boycott these stupid shows now. Sure, a chef isn’t allowed to have a bad day, but let’s be fo’ real no chef I know would find themselves caught out with nothing but fish-paste and brill cream on the pantry shelf.
lmao – dippity-do and melba toast. Sadly, these ingredients sound a bit better than some of the ones they were actually given! Thanks for the laugh!
I agree that the degree of humiliation dished out on those “judged” shows is awful, pathetic, disgusting, non-entertaining, whatsoever! And this godawful new one “Worse Cook In America”?! HOW HORRIBLE THAT IS GOING TO BE?! They are grabbing at straws and coming up VERY short of new ideas that are good.
On the other hand, WHY would any self-repscting chef agree to be on the “Chopped” show…..knowing he is subject to that humiliation? I recently watched a Chopped show where they had brought back some second place finishers. Now THEY are BEYOND STUPID!! It’s NOT worth a mediocre chance at $10,000.
hilarious!!! love ur website..cant believe i didnt think of it myself…i’ve been a huge food network fan growing up…its startin to become lame though…they get criticized for not being diverse enough, so they start stereotypical black shows and throw in a lesbian or two…its so stupid. diversity doesnt mean u water down ur shows. u can find diverse chefs that actually have talent and are not stereotypical caricatures…
OH?! Who’s the token lesbian(s) on FN?! lol
Cat Cora on Iron Chef America.
Yeah, she had a baby with her “wife” and gained a lot of baby weight. Haven’t seen her on a new ICA since.
frickin hilarious
The executives made a GREAT MOVE in replacing Robert Irvine w/ Michael Simon on DINNER IMPOSSIBLE.
When the decision was made to have Michael Simon join the IRON CHEF panel, a search should have been made to replace him on DINNER IMPOSSIBLE, or to eliminate the show altogether.
To give the show back to Robert Irvine was a mistake.
DINNER IMPOSSIBLE is about the most “do nothing” show on FN. Can’t stand Irvine. The show teaches nothing and is a waste of time.
It’s almost as bad as IRON CHEF. The Chairman needs to take his gymnastics and silk shirts back to where he came from and stay there. The chefs are all right but the show doesn’t have much of a point. They never fix anything normal people would eat.
I have developed abnormal speed with hitting the remote when either of these (plus a few others) come on. AND THE RERUNS ARE TOO DAMNED OFTEN!
Isn’t is called Dinner Impossible for a reason? They aren’t there [neccessarily] to teach us how to cook on this show – they are there to try to see if they can cook something for a large number of people in a short amount of time using hard to procure or odd ingredients.
It’s a challenge show that involves cooking. Not a cooking show to challenge you.
It’s called entertainment. It’s also called the Food Network – not the Learn How to Cook on Every Episode Network – otherwise half of the people starring on it would be out of a job.
Sorry – but I didn’t think your assessment was fair. I don’t need to know how to make beans and franks for 400 campers – but I sure do like to watch him try.
FINALLY!
My boyfriend and I discovered this delectable website one night while hating on an episode of “Chopped” (or, Top Chef jr.) while searching online for someone, ANYONE, who could understand why we can’t stomach Alex Guarnaschelli.
Oh the joy!
It was so fulfilling to read other people saying the same things we have said over and over while watching FN!
Don’t get me wrong- we love to watch FN, but it just seems like it’s become increasingly cheesy especially in the last two years, which, actually, just makes it all that much more fun for us to watch!
THANK YOU for creating this!
How can I contribute??
FN has gotten pretty lame lately, which is why I switched to Nickolodean for insomnia attacks, but now they have fallen in love with George Lopez marathons. Hey, I like Georgie, but could we be a little more ecumenical. FN pleeeeeeeeze start running something worthwhile again. I’m begging, there are only so many channels that don’t run scary-ass movie commercials in the middle of the night.
PS Alex Guarnaschelli sucks.
Alex Guarnaschelli is a bitch. I cannot imagine HOW she believes her sh*& doesn’t stink?! OMIGOD!
i seriously think food network is out of good ideas, and it will only get worse , they are already on a downward spiral, look at the last food network star?? i could not even watch it .
I rate Alex at five tapeworms. The poor thing must be starving with all the judging shows she keeps popping up on. Has anyone ever seen her cook?
I’ve seen full body shots of her, and, believe me, she’s NOT starving.
I actually love watching 3. I really feel like I’m in the kitchen with Tyler Florence.. LOVE “Tyler’s Ultimate” and “Food 911″ he’s a natural; the NEELEY’s are ADORABLE.. you can really tell they love each other and love food… and Alton Brown – gosh… I learn something from him every time I watch “Good Eats”.. knowledgeable and entertaining!
I actually stumbled into this site and think it’s a little cruel to ridicule these hosts of FN… but it’s your right… we DO live in America… best to all!!
I wish I were this naive… but, NO, actually I don’t! lol
the neely’s “adorable”????? they are SO PHONY!!!! that fake sickening laugh pat does all the time, and gina pretending she’s nice. they can’t act their way out of a paper bag.
I love Tyler Florence’s Ultimate show, but I do agree that he says “off the charts” a lot haha. He also says “absolutely fantastic” or “absolutely” a lot, too. Listen for it the next it comes on haha.
Also, has anyone noticed how many instructions Giada gives on how to do the obvious? I guess she says those things to fill in pauses, but it is sometimes annoying.
The one thing I DO like about her show, however, is the fact that she is one of the few cooks who pronounces the Italian terms correctly. Too many of the FN cooks pronounce non-English words incorrectly. For example, they pronounce “jalapeño”, “habañero”, “bruschetta”, “provolone”, etc incorrectly. You would think someone would teach them how to say these words right! I remember when Giada taught Bobby (Flay LOL) how to pronounce “provolone” correctly. Right on!
I love this website. Too funny!
I know. Every time someone on Food Network pronounces panko ‘painko’, I want to scream. It’s not that hard; pronounce it how it looks: ‘pan-ko’.
Great website. It’s fun to laugh at the stars/hosts even if we like them.
And what do you think of Danny Boome and Jamie Oliver?
I lived in England and watched Jamie over there… he’s gotten the Big Head… he’s acting like he’s Food Jesus or something, maybe even Food God… lol
Jamie totally cracks me up –kneeling in his gravel patio, chopping food on a wooden crate. cooking in what looks like a utility shed. Really! It’s pretentious to be that unassuming!
I’m sorry, Memoria, but half of my family came right off the boat from different parts of Italy, and NONE of them prounounce bruschetta BRUE-SKE-TA, OR MOZZ-A-RELLLA.
Actually, as an Italian, I find her act kind of offensive…she’s a joke!
…nice boobs, though ;)
I HATE how Giada says how (“we Italian’s”) “do it this way in Italy”, when she did NOT GROW UP IN ITALY! She’s living now where she’s lived for most of her life (except her France stint going to cookery school), which she lives in CALIFORNIA near L.A.! Her family is Italian and came from there, but she did NOT grow up there at all! She’s so fake and full of herself and BS it’s ridiculous!
Being Italian, I agree that she does NOT always pronounce words correctly and, in general, over emphasizes some words. That being said, I watch her show often for the “v-neck scenery”. LOL I just hit the mute button so her talking doesn’t ruin the view.
Oh yeah, I’m definately thinking about a “bone in” ribeye when watching Giada!
Uh,
You guys forgot Marc Summers. Perhaps the dullest man on Food Network and perhaps the dullest man in America with the dullest show of all time called ‘Unwrapped.”
I’d like to see “Cash Cab’s” Ben Bailey flatten his ass on the ground.
I’d like to see Mike Rowe take them both on. Or take it all off …hmmmmm
Maybe Robert Irvine could ship Marc’s ass… that would be funny… lol
IKR? I like the “show” Unwrapped, but they need a better host. ;)
Oh god, Marc Summers. Um yeah, how and why?
Bobblehead with giant, freakishly over-toothed mouth: Giada. Used to watch her show, until I realized it was in fact the same three dishes over and over. (Also was becoming annoyed by her boobs. Why are they always out? And what’s up with the porn-like background music that’s often too loud in spots?)
Bobby Flay is also irritating to me. Makes his three dishes over and over as well. Seems to have a bit of arrogance going on. (He also gets my vote for “Worst Make-Up on FN”.)
Second for “Worst Make-Up” brings me to Paula, y’all. Actually used to watch her every day, but after a while I found her to be too ridiculous. (And why does she keep trying to cram her boring “boys” down our throats? Blatantly obnoxious.) Don’t even know what to say about “Paula’s Party”….
All I can say about Sandra Lee is ?????? (And gag.)
Wow, thanks for this venue. Really needed to vent. :)
Giada makes everything “creamy, shuugury, buttery, carmely, nutty” (I misspelled the words purposely as she pronounces them this way)! She makes EVERYTHING with “mahscapony” cheese and “bazil” and now she’s on the California Salad kick. She is boring and uninventive and her fill-in talking is so ludicrous it’s annoying and unbelievable how she cannot pronounce words properly when she thinks she is perfect. She only cares about herself and her food and fakes the rest about her family, she’s got very obvious issues and is very selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed, and it shows, but yeah, nobody’s perfect… (oh right, she thinks she is!?) lol
did you see the episode when Todd is talking to Jade and saying ” you will understand how high maintanence mommy is like i have” , i nearly fell out of my chair lol……..
@Hermitycrab. I agree with you completely. I also to watch Giada until I, too, realized she has a repertoire of about 5 dishes and 12 ingredients that she uses over and over and over. Snore. As for Booby, well, he must hold stock in the “new” Food Network; it’s the only explanation for such a boring tool to be on at least 10 hours out of each TFN day.
This site is great. I am a big fan of the madison sisters on pophangover and now foodnetworkhumor
This is an abolutely hilarious website! You nailed the Food Network to a “t.”
I used to like Paula until I happened to catch one of her so-called “parties.” She invited some military men up to “rub their meat” and kept making lewd comments about “rubbing meat” as they sheepishly stood there and wondered why someone their mama’s age was a dirty old lady.
The Neely’s are fun, but watch out about criticizing them. You’ll be called a hater, for sure. I do feel sorry for their 14 year old, who was on one show I caught. She looked like she’d rather be anywhere but there, listening to her horny parents rattle on and on.
Sandra Lee is all bright and chipper, trying to compensate for her truly heinous childhood. She muckles onto her neice and nephew but strangely has no kids of her own. Very telling!
Ina Garten is fun to watch, too. There’s one particular musical theme that’s used in every episode, and I have visions of Ina shaking her enormous booty as she pinwheels around that gorgeous kitchen. Enter, Miquel, who snaps a pic or two. And then the gay florist comes in wearing his sweater around his neck and provides a faaabulous bouquet for Ina’s debut as a dancing elephant.
Emeril is just fat. He’d look great at 6 feet 2 inches. Unfortunately, he’s 5 feet 7.
Giada should be glad her grampa made schlocky movies like the 1976 King Kong. It gave her the money to indulge her habits, like cooking with Italian ham. And the way she pronounces all those Italian words, with such flair! It makes me wonder why she’s putting herself through the misery of living in the US. Italia’s calling, honey!
Whatever happened to those two gay guys who catered? The Network showed them the door rather quickly. In fact, except for Guy, hasn’t every winner of the “next Food Network star” been given their walking papers?
I liked Rachel Ray when her hair was lighter. When she went to black, she went coal black. And she also packed on a few pounds. And is there something different about the way her 30 minute meal show is filmed? Has it gone from videotape to film?
Personally, I like Unwrapped and think it’s the best show on the Food Network. Ah, that’s because I’m a Baby Boomer, and a lot of the stuff they feature I ate as a kid.
Long live this site!
I miss Nigella Lawson. At least she is intelligent and doesn’t apologize for it.
Nigella Lawson is hot, but can also cook, which is a lot more than the rest of the FN bimbos can say.
Hell of a sexy voice, too.
What the hell is Nigella always smiling about?. I suppose she thinks it makes her show and herself more appealing, but really it makes me want to smack that grin off her face. It’s as if there’s something very naughty going on in her peripheral vision. Pair that with the sidelong glances and not so subtle eyebrow lift she has, and I start to wonder if I’m really watching a cooking show or something else. That having been said, she is a good cook and I watch her on Cooking Channel sometimes. OH! OH! Did anyone see her on the Today show? She was making a shepherd’s pie and Matt Lauer told her ON CAMERA that it looked disgusting and that he wouldn’t eat something that looked like that. I was very impressed with her restraint as I personally would have brained him with a ladle.
I think Nigella is one of the worst on FN! It’s like she is trying to make love to the camera with those cheesy come hither looks.
I also miss Nigella Lawson, as I said before, they always take off the good, decent, smart, informative, well-made shows and keep the crap rolling on and on and on and on… (Bobby Flay’s BBQ, Paula Deen’s drawling on about young men’s meat, Giada’s pseudo-Italian-like poop, and all those demeaning judge shows they’ve put on, etc.). The rest are just plain stupid and a waste of time. Sorry to see the good ones gone (Melting Pot, even Mario’s old show Molto Mario, Sweet Dreams wasn’t bad, and certainly again, all of Nigella’s shows, even Jamie’s were pretty good, now they’re ALL GONE)… FN has really developed bad taste in recent times…
spot on on all this.
[...] anyone seen this? I just ran across it the other day and laughed my ass off! Check out the Host Bios…I bet you’ll get a few good [...]
Keep this going, it’s a breath of fresh air. I love FN but visiting your site is like sitting in the back of home-ec class, bagging on the substitute. Awesome, immature fun.
I am a lifelong member of the “I Hate Rachel Ray” website!
Aren’t we all!
^5
Ina Garten’s name should be changed to Imma Farten. She is so uptight I bet she has to run out to her garten when she’s farten. AND I never did understand why she wears the same damn big shirt with the collar turned up every damn day. I mean come on woman you live in the Hamptons you can afford more than one mumu!
I so agree. Ina Garten is a mess and is an embarassment to anyone who ever lived in the Hamptons. Of course, as fat as she is she has the choice of oversized shirts or circus tents. Any one of her recipes are something that a 9th grade Home-Ec student could pull off and probably do it better. The Barefoot Contessa was not all she makes it out to be. Dirty, over-priced and none of the food was as great as she would lead us to believe. The woman is a flipping joke and has the culinary skills of a hamster. The only thing she has going for her is money and her own disillusionment that she knows what she is doing in the kitchen. Jeffrey…geez, don’t even get me started on that moron. I hate Ina Garten and they should cancel her show as each of them has aired about a hundred times already. Stop wasting the airtime.
Aaron McCargo Jr – Says “Big Daddy” 459,253 times per show.
Adam Gertler – “will do anything to stay on tv”
Ask Aida – Gimme a break – change the name of the show to “If you’re an idiot in the kitchen, go find Aida”
Alton Brown – was a scientist in a past life.
Bobby Flay – God’s re-gift to the grill.
Duff Goldman – never seen him
Giada – Cover the boobs woman! You do know that over exposure to the lights and camera’s could cause cancer?!?
Guy – Never watched him
Ina – Love her and her gentle ways.
The Neeley’s – Change the name of their show to “Porn on a Plate”
Paula Deen – Get rid of the fake laugh and I’ll love you more. Who can’t love a gal who loves butta? BTW who taught you to say “Boil”?
Rachel Ray – Chill Out a bit … you’re trying too hard.
Sandra Lee – “M”oney saving “M”eals. Not sure where you do your shopping but your price quotes are 45% lower than what I pay.
Southerners all say bowuhld instead of boyle for boil, don’t ask
Not true Robin. I am a native of SC and I say boil exactly like Paula. True she does over exaggerate her southern “ness” but some of her pronunciations are dead on.
Not true. Everyone in my household say boyle instead of bowuhld. Though, my family from Ohio say bowuhld. It kind of creepy how interested in Louisiana, the food especially, my grandmother from Ohio is. Seriously, beignets are nothing special but she acted like it was given to her by god when I made them for her.
I Love this site! I am so glad to know there are other foodies out there that think these same things! I cannot stand the Neeleys, Rachael Ray’s cutesy quotes “yummo”, “Kiddos”, ect. get on my nerves and I can’t stand watching their shows. I laughed so hard reading some of the bios on here.
Also- @Marie-June 11, 2009- I have personally met Alton Brown, he was a guest speaker at our local home and garden show two years ago. He arrived with disheveled hair and a laid-back appearance. He talked about everything from Good Eats to what he would like to see in the future of FN television (smell/taste-ovision)and also joked about Rachael Ray and Paula Deen. He commented on Rachael’s voice (Like nails on a chalkboard), and Paula Deen’s (I need 20 sticks of butter y’all.) He came across as very down to earth and personable. I was able to get my picture taken with him and his cookbook signed too, so it was a really great day. Hope that answers the questions you had…
Glad to hear AB’s really as down to earth as he SOMETIMES seems on FN, but I guess when he’s “acting” on FN it’s what he HAS to do on there for the show?! Anyway, that’s cool you met him and he was all right…
why do you look at the shows if you feel this way about them it seems like you only watch to make fun
It’s called “Humor” Edie! Get some!!!!
Listen,pal-it just so happens I taped that Tyler Florence episode. I then watched it again and counted: he said “off the charts” only 4,891 times (although 7 of those times it was the complete sentence).
P.S. to ‘Opinionated’: If you would please start shopping at Harrods of London, you will find Sandra Lee’s price quotes are not out of line at all!
Seriously, how does Guy Fieri and his crew get away with it? I’ve cooked in quite a few restaurants in my time, and the lack of sanitation practices is appalling. If I were the manager and he walked into my kitchen looking like that, I’d have no choice but to kick his butt right out of there! No vinyl gloves, no apron, no hair net or hat, eating right on the Cook’s Line- it makes me sick just thinking about it. I am also amazed you don’t see any of the customers in these places getting up and leaving- I would. The man is a County Health Department’s worst nightmare come true, and shame on the Food Network for keeping Guy Fieri on the payroll!
I love to cook and I’ve been watching FN for a few years now and it’s gotten to the point that I will not go out to eat anymore. If these TV chefs forget they are being filmed and use the same spoon to dip into the food repeatedly to taste, I can’t even imagine how terrible it must get behind closed doors in their restaurant’s kitchens. Chefs get cold sores on their mouths, catch the flu, get colds, etc. Then you also have those who insist on using their bare hands to mix food with their jewelry still on. Nurses cannot have long fingernails anymore due to all the bacteria and virus germs harboring underneath. I wish someone would do an article on how many of the FN chefs are so blatantly guilty of these dirty habits. FN won’t edit these clips out even.
Can you IMAGINE finding one of those horrid product crusted bleached blonde hairs in your food? I’d never eat again.
Look – anyone who thinks Paula Deen is a true Southern woman is fooled – just like FN wants you to be. She puts on this fake Southern drawl that magically disappears whenever she wants it to. I’ve seen her before, “behind the scenes”, and while she has a moderate Southern accent (like most of us do), once she gets back in front of the camera, she lays it on thick again.
My husband and I have always said that she deliberately exagerrates the accent to get more viewers (meaning thicker Southern drawl = better Southern cooking) and I guess it works.
Doesn’t work for this Southern girl.
And another thing, Paula Deen. WIPE YOUR DAMN MOUTH and quit taking such big ass nasty bites of food. You don’t need to take a soup ladle to test your food. Use a fork like most people do, and take human sized bites. Don’t try and put half the damn pie on your fork, and then get whipped cream all over your chin and then laugh that cackly laugh and think it’s cute. It’s NOT cute. It’s disgusting and turns my stomach.
Paula and Giada make me sickened and disgusted and repulsed with cramming their huge mouths with HUGE mountains of food and TALKING whilst doing it! OMIGOD! It’s so horrible to hear them smacking, slurping, swallowing, gulping, chewing, crunching, and making sex noises all the while! You’re right, it’s SO NOT CUTE and it really shows them up to be stupid twats! lol
OMG YOU CRACKED ME UP I WAS LAUGHING OUT LOUD! SO TRUE!
What a treasure! Finally, someone puts the energy to set up a site that tells it like it is.
I love Giada, but we have a game we play with our friends. Every time she says the word “creamy” we take a shot of Bailey’s or whatever. By the end of her show, we are all plastered. She is gorgeous in a over-the-top way, but when she says “creamy” or “crunch” she makes a fist with her midget-like gnarled fingers. Have you seen that?
Sandra Lee, we play the same game with her show when she talks about her nephew “Bricer.” Horrible recipes. Repulsive ingredients. Like cooking using ingredients from the supermarket dumpster. By the time she reveals her horrorscape, we are drunk.
Ina-some great recipes, but I do NOT want to watch her serve another meal on the beach. She also says “How good is this?” billions of times. She has more gays than Kathy Griffin.
Guy Fierri-big fat slob who features restaurants that cater to big fat slobs.
Bobby Flay-please, no more grilled mangos.
Ellie what’s her name-Your colored contacts are very “natural.” I will not be making any tofu, lemongrass, low-fat everything, sesame seed, parsley recipes anytime soon.
Neeley’s-How many times do we need to see you make ribs for all your shifty relatives. One of the Mom’s is severely uptight.
Mark Summers-the most boring man of all time. I fell asleep writing that.
Paula Deen-great wigs. I assume she will be taking over the Eva Gabor line soon. When is her book “Butter, Mayonnaise, Cream Cheese” coming out? And when is her other son doing the same?
Ted Allen-you are not fabulous. Adorkable maybe but not fabulous.
That’s all for now. Klaus
LMAO. I love you, Klaus.
Best. Comments. Ever.
lol KLAUS!! effin hilarious! :)
Klaus – hands down winner for best comments so far!
Mark Summers, the horrorscape crap and Paula Deen’s son all get a “10″ from this judge.
Tooooooo funny. Thank you!
Klaus you cracked me up. I love the comment about Paula’s “other son” coming out. And…I thought I was the only FN fan to notice that Giada’s hands were tipping towards “Man Hands”. Not at all like her tiny, petite little body.
So true about Ellie Krieger! Her recipes sound so BORING and NASTY. Does anyone actually use her recipes?
Watching Paula Deen today with Aaron “Big Daddy”, frying Okra, dipping their fingers in the dip for a double dip & lick, then they high fived each other with the same hands!
Oh and Aaron……Nice nail polish YOLE!!!
THAT IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NASTYYYYYYYYYYYYY! lol
YUCKKKK
Klaus, great overview! Love the Ina comments. I will never understand why the choose to be on the beach when everytime they are go, there are hurricane force winds blowing and sand flying. How good could that be?
Byrdie, brilliant minds think alike . . . Yes, it’s always SO windy when Ina trots out to the shore. They have to dub the dialogue in since it’s all “Perfect Storm” happening and the wind is whistling through her $1000.00 wicker picnic basket.
Also, I cannot watch “Iron Chef.” First of all, that annoying Asian man, who is he? He screams and startles me. Why does he make such a big thing and scream at the top of his voice: “THE SURPRISE INGREDIENT IS JELLY BEANS!!!!!”
Can’t they just say, “the surprise ingredient is peanut butter”? In a normal voice, not scaring me out of my nap?
Not only that, but every time the scene changes, they do that horrible “knives being pulled out of a metal scabbard” sound, which I CANNOT listen to.
And also, why do they have to cook so fast? Poor Kat Kora is running around like a meth addict trying to finish her dishes. Give me a break, since when is it a skill to cook things faster than the speed of light.
Also, when did Guy Fierri’s sister get her own show “Secrets of A Restuarant Chef”?? She says “lovely” about 100 times per half hour, and does that weird motion with her arms to indicate “blending.” Can someone tell me who she is and how did she ever get on television?
Iron Chef is horrible and traumatic.
And they replay the same ones WAAAY too often. Did they finally get rid of the awful Jeffrey Steingarten as a judge? He is a self-absorbed, obnoxious, rude ass.
Oh my GOD he is! I can’t stand him! He pretends to be so picky and particular, but he didn’t get that big eating tiny portions at fancy pants restaurants. He probably has an assistant whose only job is to provide him with a constant supply of triple Whoppers. He probably has a fifty five gallon drum of Miracle Whip in his office, and I’m willing to bet it sits right next to the Jello Instant Pudding dispenser. Saturday nights find him shoving Twinkies in his mouth two at a time and washing them down with Cold Duck. Shut up, you pretentious jerk!
HaHa oh damn I peed my pants..its gonna take a heck of a hose to wash that image from my brain
Ha ha hahaaa! “He probably has a fifty five gallon drum of Miracle Whip in his office, and I’m willing to bet it sits right next to the Jello Instant Pudding dispenser” I’m crying from laughing so hard!! HA!!
HAHAHA!
You know I always thought that was Guy Fierri’s brotherrr….
Klaus, you mean you don’t have a $1000 picnic basket? Tsk tsk. That’s a shame. Might explain why she only gave two clams to each of her guests as a amuse-bouche! East Hampton and you can only afford a dozen clams? Reminds me of when she’s having yet another dinner party with her gay guys, she only buys one bottle of wine for the entire table. Maybe it’s me, but ONE BOTTLE??
And now, my friend, we must take a step back and disagree. (It could have been such a beautiful friendship) (sigh)…anyway, “secrets of a restr chef” is Anne Burrell. Many do not like her but, alas, I do like her. She’s a restauranteur and a chef, actually worked with Mario Batalli on Iron Chef. She beats the crap out of Rachael Ray, Pauler “Poopy” Dean and the rest of the hacks on FN. Hope we can still be civil…..
Anne Burrell used to be un-watchable due to her horrendously exaggerated body gestures that she made every 10 seconds, when describing just about anything.
However, she seems to have lost the very annoying body gestures thank God and now her other odd behaviours and sayings are kinda funny and endearing.
She’s kinda weird, but fun to watch now that she has lost the body gestures. I’m glad that someone must have told her to quit doing that!
Abe
Whoah…Where to start? Gina Neeley’s voice is like having your fingernails ripped off, and I agree their bedroom antics are unwatchable, but like someone already mentioned, Food TV Network is a trainwreck and now I watch it more to make fun of the obvious buffoonery of most of the hosts. I enjoy Ina Garten & Jaime Oliver…they seem to be the only ones left that have not turned into cartoon characters. Paula is so obnoxious…not so bad when she’s “alone” in the kitchen…I miss the Old Paula, when she seemed like the fun, lovely neighbor down the street. Now she has that platinum blonde Old Hooker hair and is dripping in diamonds that she dips her buttered paws into everything. Ask Aida is so ridiculous with that guy up in the corner and his laptop. Have the programmers @FTV been sniffing glue? It does give us a great laugh or a teeth grinding rant, and I guess it does count as entertainment. Great Website, it’s my new Fave!!! Keep it Up!
Oh but no, Paula’s hair isn’t platinum blonde, it’s BLUE STEEL PURPLE GRAY now! MY GOD those false eyelashes are like freakin’ 2 inches long and so black hanging off her eyelids! TOO MUCH! I guess her head has to be made large to balance out the bottom half of her body?! All those pastel ice cream parlor colored clothes she wears! It’s as bad as the TV soap opera clothes they wear like on the Bold and Beautiful! lol
Pauler looks like some kind of alien who stares into your soul. “That’s right… coat it in butter, y’all. Get all fat so I can eat your brains, y’all.” Am I right?
O Byrdie, no worries. I will trade you Anne Burrell (is she related to Rusty Burrell of “The People’s Court”?) for Michael Chiarello and his fake wife. I wasn’t really trashing her (believe me); I was just curious about her since I have heard not one mention of her on this site. She does oversay “lovely” and uses that unusual roller derby gesture to indicate melding and blending of flavors. She seems to follow Julia Child classic recipes, so good for her.
I will deem her a “hands off” zone, unless she releases a sex tape or soemthing, agreed? Just leave my next ex-husband MC alone!
The FN used to be a great resource, but now it’s like a nasty trainwreck that I cannot help but watch.
It all started with Paula Deen and her “Cracker Salad” which I still make for delighted guests, until I tell them what’s in it.
Ok, Klaus, we are still buds. Nobody can agree on everything, now can we? And if the sex tape comes out, poleezzee, I don’t want to see it. I like her but, well, not her butt. She’s a little “out there”, but she really seems to love food and for me, that’s what it’s all about. And what exactly is (gulp) cracker (oh, I know I shouldn’t ask) salad? And MC is all yours!!
Is that as good as mayonnaise-chocolate chip dip?
Ok, then we are in agreement. Wir sind eine Meinung!
Paula’s Cracker Salad
Crumble one sleeve of saltines into a bowl;
Add one medium tomato, medium dice
de-shell a hard boiled egg and crush it into the bowl with your hand (the egg, not the shell)
plop enough mayo on top of it all to bind and moisten the ingredients as you stir them together;
clip some green onions into the mischung, 2 tablespoons or so.
Chill. Serve in a small lettuce cup
My guests scrape the bowl in a frenzy, until they realize what the ingredients are. Then they never eat it again.
In complete friendship, Klaus
klaus you are hysterically funny and that salad actually sounds good but i would throw a can of tuna in the mix!!!! (or some diced spam hhhmmmm i’m gettin hungry!!!)
I made that cracker vomit once. My kids refused to eat it.
Pauler Deen must have mayonnaise running through her veins!
Klaus I love reading your comments. I know I’m like a year late, but oh well. You should be a writer on the FNH site!
Klaus, I KNEW KNEW KNEW I shouldn’t have asked. Ok, thanks for sharing, my friend. (man, I have GOT to be more careful about what I ask next time….gak)
Aaron whatshisname is just too Ghetto, he talks like he has marbles in his mouth.
Ina is lovely, calm and hasn’t been turned into a Food Network Ass-Clown…yet. Don’t care for the Denim shirts.
The Neeleys (especially Gina) are annoying and lewd.
Cool-Whip Sandy’s food and tablescapes are Barfbag worthy.
Whenever Giada has her family are in the show, she bosses them around and makes them look stupid. Come on, this is cooking, not Nuclear Physics.
Becoming a Chef must have saved Tyler Florence’s life, I get the impression that without it, he would weigh about 700 lbs and be living in a basement in Alabama.
Paula Dean started out just fine, then the “Geniouses” @FTV
exploited her “Poisonality” and they created a Frankenstein monster. Her Y’alls, Olive Ol, and “whatcha fixin son,? Hand me that “Son,” Do you like cheese on that “Son”?” And her laugh…it almost justifies homicide. That fat toad husband nuzzling up to her…
Schlockmeister Emeril…Impossible to follow his recipes, he can complicate chocolate milk. I get it already Emeril, you’re a trained chef, just don’t make me feel I should go to Havaaad to learn how to mince a garlic clove.
Jaime Oliver’s charming lisp and down to earth, sexy way of touching and cooking food is what really hooked me into the FTV Network. Of course they have him on early Saturday mornings. Wouldn’t want the brilliance of the Clown Posse to get lost in that crummy time slot!
Bobby Flay is a prick. And his grilling shows are Boring. But we all know that.
What’s with the pot bellied peroxide blonde Chef? And I don’t mean Guy.
Cooking for Real? This Sunny woman needs help from “What not to Wear” immediately. She looks like an Orange Tabby exploded right in the kitchen. Can’t get past that and her subpar, silly recipes.
I’ve learned some things from Michael Chiarello, like browning the chicken first to make a richer chicken stock. And how to relax in my Napa Valley Vineyard while the stock slowly simmers. OK, sitting at the keyboard in my rented condo.
Terrific website, Funny and a great comic relief!
I would love to see Aunt Sandy show up univited to Ina’s gay lunches and try to change the “Tablescape”.
Hi Ina, it’s Sandy!
Ina looks back at her horrified guests and mutters…How did this skinny bitch get past security in the Hamptons?
Oh Ina, it’s all so Plain! Let’s lose the green Chrysanthemums and white table cloth. I have a Carnival green punchbowl with my Cinamon-Applebutter Schnaaps and Vodka Sandy-Punch with little sail-boats floating on top. We will continue the Carnival theme with my Ferris-Wheel frozen meat-balls with grape jelly mold. I made the tablecloth out of pink and green felt to match the Fishstick Carousel that I iced with matchy-color cream cheese. And for dessert, Surprize!!! Cool Whip Fat Lady Mold with an Artificial Vanilla Sandy Sauce Supreme.
The Gay guests faint…Ina’s on life support scribbling…”How bad is that?”
LMFAO! ‘sailboats’ hahaha! Your words portray a perfect visual concept of Aunt(hic)Sandy taking over the Hamptons. This may be the funniest thing I’ve ever read at FNH. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Your comments made me laugh until I cried. I agreed with every single thing you said. I love this website!
OMG I AM LAUGHING OUT LOUD YOU ARE A COMEDIAN (COMEDIENNE?)WHAT ABOUT SANDY’S BOOBS THAT HANG DOWN TO HER NAVEL? OR DOES SHE JUST HAVE A FREAKISHLY LONG CHEST???
And you’re laughing really loudly, too.
ROFL@ “How bad is that?”
I actually found this website when googling “I hate Ina Garten”. How sad is that? ;)
Don’t feel bad Stellblu. I found this site when I googled to see if Ina was actually married to Frodo. Ooops!!! I meant Jeffrey.
LOL!
omg had to hit the head first before replying..funny as hell and best description of LaSandra Ive ever read.
……………..but wait Olive Loahf!! Just then Brian Boitono skates in gives Ina mouth to mouth. That’s what Brian Boitano would do!!!!
stop it please!! I can’t read any more, damn, I can hardly type. I can’t remember laughing this hard in a long time.
ohhhh…this is too much, you need to stop this immediately!! I had to go back to do some actual work to stop laughing so hard. This is the best site EVER!! :-D
omg. dead. LOL
~Died~ Bwahhh haa haa ha!
Comments from the NFNS 5:
Jen: (I agree with Jamika.) She wanted to win because she was pretty. Annoying PWT.
Brett made friends by calling everyone “Bubba” in a strong NY accent.
Eddie should shut his pie hole and go back to being a corporate guy.
Teddy should go back to making his Throwdown-winning mussels.
Katie SERIOUSLY needs to get her thyroid checked. (Bug-eyes) She admitted in her FN bio that she “secretly loves bacon.” Is that a dietitian sin??? Her show shoulda been called the “Dancing Dietician.”
Michael is Michael. Being not-straight made him the best and most annoying personality on the show!
Jamika: I liked her, but we didn’t need another southern/island cooking show.
Debbie. Liked her too, until the last few episodes.
Jeffery needs the Just For Men hair replacement stuff. And Shampoo. Someone needs to replace his gel with car oil. Maybe it is already! He was a butt to the ladies. Except for Melissa. I questioned what happened “behind the scenes.” Would have been a good story, since they’re both married with kids. NO PURPLE/PINK SHIRTS. OK?
Melissa. Still is the “Harried Housewife.” Frenetic energy problem, Remember??? Cheap set. The show names never stay the same as they are in the Pilots, now do they!
My fave vote was Jamika, then Debbie, Michael, Katie, Melissa, Jeffery. (No Teddy/Eddie/Brett or Jen.
Can you please put together an article about how STUPID the idea for Mellisa D’Arabians show is?? I mean how many “10 dollar dinners” have we had?? Wasnt there a show called Five dollar dinners at one time?? I think the pilot presentation idea was much better.
Did Zimmern really say that about Tyler Florence?
Haha, it is true, I looked it up… those blogs were hilarious!
Has anyone else noticed that both Ted Allen and Aaron Sanchez have given out a lot of information as to where they live on “The Best Thing I Ever Ate”? That should be helpful information for all the little weirdos out there who would like to stalk them.
WADS! lol
By the way, I am glad that Melissa won NFNS. Last year, watching self-loathing, self-doubting, emotional wreck Aaron McCargo, who has the personality of an old nervous woman being handed the competition was more than I could bear. They wanted sooooo bad for him to be Isaac Hayes. Has anyone noticed the music they put behind him? It sounds like the theme from Shaft. I’m sorry, but he is more feminine than masculine, and take those silly earrings out! By the way, I will bet he never even heard the name “Big Daddy” til they were preparing to shoot his pilot. Whew! I feel better now.
In Season 4 Pit Cook, Kelsey kept referring, annoyingly to Arron as Big Daddy. His head is so big, I think that is why he wears that big ol bling in his ears.
Oh, & someone needs to give Bobby Flay a Manzeer, or a Bro or at least an undershirt!
I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Sandra Lee’s latest Tablescape. Well she starts out with a white outfit with cherries and green leaves and a white shirt over that, the curtains are of course Cherries!!
Tablescape: Exploding cherries with cheap red glass goblets & plates and fake flowers and leaves…Everywhere. I think there was a hot glue-gun casserole in there somewhere…
And she presented all this with unbridled enthusiasm, breathlessly explaining how “easy & simple” all this craft-store trash was. Sure, when you have a staff of 20 people helping you make Hamburger Helper a La Sandy with frozen mashed potatos…
Porn Alert!!!
The Neeleys are being featured in Food Network TV’s “Chefology”
This might involve visual aids with fruits & vegetables
Wear latex gloves and keep the Lysol handy
FNh is lol
Does Duff Goldman remind anyone else of “The Count” from Sesame Street?
lol yes I totes see it!!
Yes he does; he also looks like he has a volleyball for a head!
“Wilson? Is that you?”
Now that you mention it…………….
“I would love to see Aunt Sandy show up univited to Ina’s gay lunches and try to change the “Tablescape”…
Respectfully edited. Your post is soooo funny, OliveLoahf, especially when recalling an episode of “Barefoot Contessa” during which Ina pokes fun at ‘tablescapes’. No name is mentioned, of course, but the inference is so obvious that you could stick a shrimp fork in it!
I saw the episode where Ina got a little snippy about Sandra’s dining room dioramas. I commented on it before I saw your post. It would be fun (for someone twisted like me, anyway) to see a few food feuds get going.
Alton Brown is skinny. Sardines? EEW! Who could eat that many sardines? Now, he needs botox or something. He looks 10 years older.
Alton looks terrible now– all his moles and warts and stuff really stand out and he looks even more grayish/whitish/pasty than he ever did before? He even speaks differently, like someone too thin who got that way because of cocaine or something or like he was ill and got skinny– ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Bags under the eyes, etc., but at least he cut that 3 strings of hair he had let grow out… that was even MORE horrible! He looked terrible with that stringy dishwater color hair too long… yuk!
Ina Garten needs better makeup. And wrinkle cream. And hair-voluminizer. Even though it is not a word, she needs it.
YESSS! INA NEEDS A MAKEOVER HONEY! maybe one of her gay friends can do itt
Ina just wears the same shirts, same hair, same makeup always. I don’t think changing her clothes, hair, and makeup is going to do much and she probably knows that deep down because she is just so very GIGANTIC, but she and Jeffrey are filthy, dirty, rich, period and she’s got lots of gay and Jewish friends so she probably doesn’t care! lol
wheres NIGELLA LAWSON? the queen of food porn she definately needs to come back to FN
Hear Hear!
Amen!
Although, she actually knows how to cook.
agreed!
alton brown! that sweet man has gone an got himmself all to skinny. come to mamas house and i feed u some reall home cookin iluv u sweet cheekss
CherryRose states:
“recalling an episode of “Barefoot Contessa” during which Ina pokes fun at ‘tablescapes’.”
Respectfully edited as well. That’s exactly what inspired me to post Aunt Sandy terrorizing Ina, we were watching Barefoot Contessa when Ina made the exact same reference and we looked at each other and busted out laughing. Like you stated, it was so obvious. I can see Ina & Jeffrey drinking French Champagne and throwing hydrangeas at the TV screen as Aunt Sandy pulls out a couple cans of Dinty Moore for her 70% fake dinner…
omg! This is a Great Site!
I spent all morning reading. I laughed til my face ached!
I thought I was the only one who noticed these funny & odd things about FN shows.
Have you ever wondered how she stays that thin IF she actually eats the food on her shows? Have you Ever Seen her Actually Swallow her ‘test bites’? I picture the camera turning back to the demo plate as she spits the ‘test bite’ into the sink.
I just watched the first episode of “Ten Dollar Meals”. It’s another train wreck. Melissa gushed on and ON about how Much people will love you, if you make ‘home-made pastry’. Ugh! Well, at least I don’t have to save this time on Sunday for her show.
Rachael has a new ‘ad’ for her Bakewear! Rachael doesn’t bake. What’s this?
My favs are Ina, AB, and Jaimie Oliver.
Fantastic site! Thanks!
(i just found it today. It was mentioned on Anthony Bourdain’s blog)
I love love LURVE Anthony Bourdain, the way I love HOUSE. They are so freakin’ MEAN and totally hilarious.
Yes. Anthony with the permanent sneer in his voice. House reminds me of the Cat in the Hat character.
This site makes me so happy. Food network is such a joke. I only watch ace of cakes because I am from that area of MD. Guy you make us Californians want to puke and your nasty if i saw you walk into one of our dives wearing flip flops and eating over the prep tables i would pop you in the mouth.
Bobby Flay Do you need to throw down to prove your superiority and make other normal people feel bad about what their specialty is?
Neely’s your annoying get a room
Rachel your the devil
Sandra poor people hate you and your expensive food processor
Although Mr Oliver your a sexy beast please get on a different network. Thank god Anthony Bordain got the hell off this network.
I’d give you more than one thumb up, but it won’t let me.
No offense, but it’s “you’re”, almost every time you wrote “your”. Big difference. Really.
For anyone that enjoyed Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, please affirm or deny that Ted Allen was the weakest link on that show. He tried to hard to be part of every joke (watch the beginning when they trash straight guy’s house, he is always touching or grinding on the others awkwardly) and did not seem that confident in the kitchen with any of his straight muses….and now, as many have discovered in hollywood, it is not about talent discovery, but sheer luck and timing that he is on every other episode of every terrible peer reviewed judging mess of a show.
also, alex guarnaschelli is insufferable. she needs to lose the upper west side accent, 40 lbs. and beef up that resume (has anyone eaten at BUTTER ?) …. she is brutal to watch.
Ted Allen is dull, weak, monotone, untalented, boring, but he makes a good geek-a-hole…what purpose does he serve, he’s not very good at what he does…
Alex just looks flat-out mean.
Melissa ~ ugh, don’t even get me started. Just wrote another letter to Bob & Susie about their deliberate resurrection of Amy Finley. Remember her? Faux-French?
Melissa’s cooking in Amy’s refurb-ed kitchen.
ALL of her recipes are either Ina knock-offs, or retreads of other FN chefs. They sent someone home for ‘copying’ a Paula recipe.
P.S. When my then 8-year-old saw Giada for the first time she thought she looked just like a Bratt — HUGE head, TINY body!
@Fresh herbs: OMG, you’ve nailed it. Ted Allen IS a weak link, in all situations. I could never understand why he tried to get the guys to make some complicated dish or presentation (oyster bar, chocolate terrine) instead of things you prepare for life: roast chicken, chocolate cake, caesar salad, etc. He’s no cooking god for sure, and not even nice to look at. His clipped style of speaking seems prissy, haughty and super judgmental. He is a know-it-all that doesn’t really come across as an authority. Now Kyan and Tom on the other hand . . .
Kyan & Tom were the best — & not gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (again, yes) but never was convinced on that point. Ted’s best advice, “life is too short for cheap alchohol” — maybe Sandy should take that advice. Husband tried making one of her meals once & was distracted by the cocktail portion. Following the instructions as he is inclined to do at times, let’s just say the semi-homemade didn’t even end up semi-resembling the intended dish.
“Jaime Oliver’s charming lisp and down to earth, sexy way of touching and cooking food is what really hooked me into the FTV Network. Of course they have him on early Saturday mornings. Wouldn’t want the brilliance of the Clown Posse to get lost in that crummy time slot!”
Actually, he was on later until he decided it would be ok to suffocate some baby chicks on a show he did. Needless to say, they moved him into another slot after that little episode. I personally will not watch him because of that.
He’s not the same charming bloke he used to be when he first got ‘famous’… he got quite stroppy with his last series JAMIE AT HOME… I won’t support him on his Jamie-Jesus kick… nah… he’s OK but he’s not THAT great… he used to be better back when he first started out… a lot of these people are like that, they start out “nice” but end up a-holes…
@Kim H – he did what to what? Baby chicks? What, pray tell, are you talking about?
@Kim H. Wha…? Was he planning to eat them?
Ok, I looked it up. Seems Jamie is an activist on the mistreatment of animals, so he had some baby chicks on his show, let the audience pet them, then at some point he killed them (the chicks, not the audience) and fed one of the chicks to a snake. This was his way of educating the public on the violent way feed animals are killed. Wow.
Jamie’s become an obsessed control freak.. he’s not like he used to be…
wtf kind of shit is that? ugh
@Byrdie. Maybe his show wasn’t the best venue for that kind of activism though. Way to gross out/alienate your audience.
“This was his way of educating the public on the violent way feed animals are killed”
Yep. Nice huh? I get the stance he “tried” to make but how he did it just revolted me. He also electrocuted a rooster I believe.
It was too bad because I liked the premise of his show – showing one ingredient in different ways. I just can’t watch him now without feeling ill.
I’m on your side, Jun. It’s a little weird-o-rama for me.
Kim, good thing he wasn’t making hamburgers that day…
“Kim, good thing he wasn’t making hamburgers that day…”
LOL. Too true!
I’d like a recipe for those baby chicks. Maybe they’re like soft-shell crabs, you can even chew the tender little bones. I would hope there’s a pork sausage stuffing for them as well.
I personally would like Vegan’s fed to the snake, now that would be entertaining.
……yea, right after basting them with chicken fat and sticking a hot dog down their throat!!!!
This is soo funny!
add melissa here as well, I can’t stand her!
I love Jaime Oliver’s show more than ever!!! The PETA people can go over to “Christina Cooks like Stalin” on Create TV and get a recipe for Wheat Groat Soy content non Dairy Wheat-Loaf witha Soy Milk Gravy and Pomegranite Bathroom Tile Frog-Sprout salad side.
lol you rock Olive!
@Olive Loahf. Your latest posts are making me gag. Yecch.
Really, cuz I am rotflmao
Guy Fieri. Be sure to pronounce that you’re peddling pizzas in Naples. “Fee-ehdi,” my ass. Get over yourself, man. You’re not cool and your shows are stupid.
HAHA omfg
My fourteen year old daughter and I watch Guy Fieri occasionally as I want her to be able to recognize a douche when she sees one.
Did someone say the Neelys were being featured in a new Chefography ? I thought you neeeded to be a chef ?
Where were they chefs ? In a state prison ? Seriously.
If they are chefs, then I’m the new Shah of Iran.
“Did someone say the Neelys were being featured in a new Chefography ?”
I hope there will be a warning before the show airs that says: Some material may not be suitable for all audience ;)
The warning should also state that “some subject matter contains scenes that only 12 people in the United States of America really care about and is intended for Neely family members with cable TV only “.
My hope is that somebody else but me will watch it and then report back here. I can’t stand those two. For god’s sake, get a freakin room!
I can’t STOMACH the Neely’s and I can NEVER force myself to watch a single minute of their shows, they are disgusting.
@Byrdie. I caught like 3 minutes of their show today. As soon as Gina started to make the legs of a cornish hen dance, I changed the channel.
Just caught Chefography of Paula Deen. Can’t complain. What a life!? Bobby Flay’s Chefography just started. The announcer says, ‘Bobby Flay IS New York’. That was it!! I’m done. Hork!
Jun, making you gag was intentional. Just go ahead and spit.
Jaime Oliver electrocuted a Rooster? Seems like alot of work to me. When I make Coc Au Vin, I just get a meat cleaver whack the Old Cock on the neck, pluck it and rinse and cut it up. I’m a bigger fan of Jaime now, it seems like elecrocution is quicker and more modern.
But don’t tell Jun that, she may throw up on your kitchen counter.
This bit just isn’t workin’ for ya, Olive. Seems pretty clear you shot your wad with your tablescapes post and you now seem to think that every word emanating from your fingertips is chortle-worthy. Think again. We get it. You eat meat (terrific), you have no use for folks who do not (it’s a free country), and you delight in trying to shock people with infantile animal yarns. *brrrinnnng!* Time for recess!!
I love watching Bobby Flay cook with Stephanie March. It’s so adorable.
I like Bobby Flay also, he seems down to earth. I don’t use many of his recipes because he’s too much into hot and spicy food. Everything has chili peppers in them. However, I really enjoy his shows. When he cooks with his wife, Stephanie March, you can actually see when he looks at her that he loves her. As opposed to giAAAAADDDA sneering at TOOOODDD.
Anybody catch Chefs vs. City last week? Doesn’t the premise seem really pointless? No prize except bragging rights, too.
I’m a big fan of Ina Garten, although the first time i saw her show “Barefoot Contessa” the words “Ina Garten” were in the bottom of the opening shot. I thought “Ina Garten” was swedish for “In the Garden”. So much for my ignorance.
What really cracks me up is at the end of all the Barefoot Contessa everybody starts laughing at the most improbable things… for example:
I added Kalamata olives….HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA….HAAAA.HAAAA
That’s Guyere cheese on that tart….HAAAAAAAAAA…Ha..Haaaa
Do you really like it? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA….Ha….Ha…Ha
That’s Belgian bittersweet chocolate!!! Haaaaaaaaaa…Ha..Ha
Whose gonna clean up? HAAAAAAAAAAAAA….Ha..Gay Ha Ha Ha!
HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHahahaha!!
Really! I started reading your post aloud, realized I was “reading” a laugh, which made me…laugh. Time for bed. Thanks for the beddy-bye giggle!
soooooo true!!! they always laugh really hard at the end.
Ina Garten being Swedish – BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!
After watching the “chefography” of Giada, I ended up feeling kinda sorry for her. Her childhood looked lonely and you really had to feel for her when she was just starting out. That being said, I wish she would remember her “love of cooking” and get rid of the superficial shit on her website….
“Anybody catch Chefs vs. City last week? Doesn’t the premise seem really pointless”
I did. It was dumb. Looks like another hit for FN!
Is it me, or are the Neely family guests Hostile? There are some serious negative attitudes going on here. They just don’t seem very pleased to be at the table. I think it’s the mac & cheese w/bacon and potato chip topping that murdered some of the other Rel-A-Tivs. Is it any wonder that the South has the biggest Obesity Problem?
I think it’s Fel-O-Ny not Fel-O-Neely
I watched most of the Sandra Lee Chefography. I think most of these are designed so we feel sorry for them.
The Chefographys are PR campaigns. Take them all with a spoon of salt, remember, these came from the same folks that brought you Sandra Lee and the Circus that is the Next Food Network Star.
I bet they even filmed Giada (did they mention that De Laurentis is not her true last name?) in front of some pots and pans.
And expect those pots and pans to be showing up at a Bed Bath and Beyond near you this holiday season.
Jun…You are you sniffing glue? Bobby Flay and Stephanie Starch adorable? So is eating raw chicken. Get a clue.
God Bless Jamie Oliver! Integrity…what a concept!!!
I’m surprised it’s not “Iron Chef America with Bobby Flay”
@ Olive Olaf: I’d be hostile too if I were constantly being reminded by my hosts that “This is MY house”, or “This is MY kitchen.” It seems to me that the Neelys say that a lot!
Robin Millers eyes.
o O
^
u
What about Ellie Kreiger who reads recipies like she’s at GNC< Vitamin,ABCDEFGH.
I think of felony when I think of the Neelys.
HUH?
It’s cool to joke about these FN shows and hosts, but dang, wtf kind of comment is this?
What does a felony (or crime in general) have to do with anything? They’re cooks/restaurant owners; who says they’re felons?
Jeez. Get over your brown fears and get real.
I love Giada, her giant marshmallow-shaped head and tiny squirrel hands. Perfect!
Ever notice they rarely film Giada’s profile?
What a Shnozz! And that big ass grin?
Whoa!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8KVGEZEUltI/R4fmscfKGPI/AAAAAAAAAkI/6OaNpG8eKsQ/s400/everydaycrazy.jpg
HAHA OMFG
It’s enunciate, not annunciate. Funny stuff, tho.
“Is it me, or are the Neely family guests Hostile? There are some serious negative attitudes going on here. They just don’t seem very pleased to be at the table.”
I’ve noticed Gina making faces when Pat or one of their kitchen guests says something that she interprets as being negative about her. Gina likes to be the Queen Bee, that’s for sure! I wonder what Pat’s brothers really think of her ;)
I feel sorry for Pat. Gina has some serious power-trippin’ going on. I would Gibbs-slap her if I had to spend much time in her presence.
Has anyone thought Gina reminded them of Miss Piggy? She looks just like her (except for the fact Gina’s obviously not pink in skin tone)…