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Guy Fieri: Flowmaster Pitchman
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Did you know that before Guy Fieri was selling sweatbands and obnoxiously screaming in our faces, he was pitching auto parts for a company called Flowmaster? He was so much more subdued, and far less annoying. Check out his (gasp!) SOLID COLOR T-SHIRT and button-down tucked into his Sears jeans. And look! Nary a tacky piece of gold jewelry in sight!
Thanks to the magic of the internet, there’s video, too:
This is hilarious to me, because I always thought he looked like he just crawled out from underneath some loud muscle car. I’m not sure what’s more terrifying, though: the sight of him eating a 12 pound hot dog, or him coming at me with a large metal pipe.
We always say the Food Network turns people into ridiculous, exaggerated caricatures of themselves (think Paula Deen and Rachael Ray). That’s clearly true with Guy as well. And frankly, I’d take the old Guy over the new Guy any day.
Oh, and by the way, NICE DAD JEANS, FIERI!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Things That Exist: A Guy Fieri Face Trivet---Guy Fieri Scrabble
---Corny Jokes With Guy Fieri
---Guy Fieri Given “Award Of Excellence”
---Guy Fieri Lookalike On The Simpsons
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41 Responses
What the hey, man – he has like 15 restos (ok, – what – 3?) AND he has to be a snake oil salesman too?
What kind of debt has this guy rung up that he would have to hawk these mufflers on top of managing restaurants?
Oy.
He didn’t have the restaurants when he was selling these mufflers. He hadn’t embarked on his life of crime against food yet.
oddness – he never struck me as the kind of guy who is a restaurant mogul (as in, having those chops) so this part of his life confounds me even more
It’s a logical progression, isn’t it, from tailpipes to Tex-Mex sushi?
I’d rather see him in Dad jeans than in flip-flops, what he thinks are hipster shorts and backwards sunglasses any day.
Um, yeah, which is why Jillian wrote “And frankly, I’d take the old Guy over the new Guy any day.”
Still a douche. Just a bit less douchey.
I thought Flowmaster was a douche product until I scrolled down a tad.
I thought it was for old men that can’t pee.
My favorite part is the thin black suit belt holding up the baggy dad jeans in the first video.
Less douchey than today – but I still wanna give him a knuckle sandwich!
I wish he’d wear the hat in DDD. He just grosses me out being in the kitchen in public restaurants. Not that I watch him..just channel surfing!
Wow. More proof that anyone with “charisma” and no culinary ability can win Next Food Network Star.
Are Flomasters on his DDD rental car?
*Flowmasters
He actually looks, dare I say, normal. Ish.
But he still has the bleached hair and the unbleached goatee. The ickiest hair/facial hair combo I’ve ever seen, and yet he seems to think they work. Dude, they don’t.
True. But at least he’s covering up the hair.
I’m not sure that helps that much. You can still tell the hair on his head is a different color than the goatee. Just pick a color and go with it.
And he was a lot fatter then!
I think he just wears baggier clothes now. Plus no one tucks bowling shirts into cargo jean shorts.
Hard to tell, but he certainly is sporting quite the gut in the videos. Slammajamma.
If he were that chunky now, the could rename his show “Guy’s Big, and He Bites.”
Well he is a dad… no kidding.
I liked him here. And props to FNH to finding these commercials.
He lost me when he sported the Kulinary Gangsta tattoo – that just seemed too over the top, ya know?
I have seen these on tv before. I had no idea that was him. So funny.
omg me too! used to watch speedvision back in the day and totally remember these spots!… or some like it lol
Amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh wow. He’s not screaming at us. He actually makes a pretty decent pitchman.
He’s so obviously reading the cue cards
I can’t believe it he’s actually watchable here, there’s something about the FN that totally destroys a persons soul, tunning them into mindless pretentious douche bags.
LOL–I agree. Maybe its cuz he’s hiding his hair?
I like Flowmaster stuff. I also like Guy’s shows. Neither are related. My Jeep if full of Flowmaster exhaust parts and my cook book i full of of Guy’s crazy greasy recipes. But, this guy knows what to endorse. I don’t care where his sunglasses are or who pays him what. He’s given my some good BBQ to by and some good recipes… and apparently some good exhaust. HA! Guy Fierri has given my good exhaust!
You;re an Aarti fan too aren;t you?
the whistles go WOOOOO
Guy Ferry and Bubb Rubb in, Diners, Drive-ins, and WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
So I was watching one of the videos linked to the post this morning and my wife, who had been looking over my shoulder while she drank her morning coffee, piped up “who’s the cutie?” I darned near got dunked with hot coffee when I told her who it was.
WOW!!! The envy is so thick you could cut it with a knife, then marinate the sliced envy in a garlic, red wine and kalamata olive puree overnight in the fridge. Coat surface of hot muffler with a sheen of EVOO and gently grill sliced envy till medium rare. Serve with some fava beans and a nice chianti. Guy is cool, he knows food inside and out, and he is into old cars, so what? You all would be doing just what he did, if offered the same bucks …and you know it. The problem is none of you have any talent, or charisma, and you know no one would buy car parts from you or watch you travel around the country eating and offering witty repartee such as….”duh, is that american food?” DOUCHBAGS, HEAL THYSELF!!!!
Ah, yes, the jealousy offense. No, that NEVER gets old…
Can you guys seriously not think of anything else?
jboogy, this is a humor site which is meant to be taken light-heartedly. The venomous anger you have with it is most likely stemming from some sort of shortcomings in your own life. Anger comes from within. Please take a moment to re-examine your own life and try not to knock people down to your level in order to make yourself feel better. Strength comes from admitting you have a problem first, then doing something about it to fix it. We’ll all pray that you can pick yourself up and shake the demons that are apparently causing you this pain.
after watching this..it made me grab the newspaper and take an hour shit