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4 Chefs Who Should Be On Celebrity Apprentice Instead Of Curtis Stone
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It’s a slow news day, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to talk about one of my favorite shows: Celebrity Apprentice. This season, the same 3 thoughts have been crossing my mind every week while watching:
1) Summer Sanders is a celebrity? Really?
2) Why is my old college tennis coach sitting at a table with Donald Trump? Oh, nevermind, it’s just Rod Blagojevich.
and 3) Would it kill Curtis Stone to buy another apron?
Curtis seems like a lovely guy and all, and you could probably use his washboard abs to scrub a sack of potatoes clean, but I’m just not feeling him on this season of Celebrity Apprentice. Aside from an impromptu heel kick on the streets of NYC for a Kodak challenge, he’s been one-dimensional, corny, and quite boring to watch. Oh, look! He’s wearing his black and white pinstripe apron and make goofy faces at the camera again! Yawn. I’m over it.
Sorry, Curtis, but these are the 4 celebrity chefs I would rather have seen on this season of Celebrity Apprentice:
.
.
He’s intelligent, he’s interesting, he’s down to Earth, and he doesn’t have any tacky aprons to speak of (which is a good thing). Andrew’s also a great conversationalist, so luring people off the streets and into the mens’ activities wouldn’t be difficult at all. And if the show ever got boring, Andrew could just spice things up by eating a live cockroach fresh off the streets of NYC. Now that’s entertainment!
.
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I don’t know about you, but I’ve never seen Sandra Lee doing anything that didn’t involve a cocktail, a crock pot, or a crayon. Is she even capable of holding a normal conversation with an adult? Could she contribute anything meaningful to the challenges? Would she refer to Donald Trump’s hairstyle as “super super simple” or “soooo delicious?” I’d love to find out.
.
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Gordon is one of my favorite celebrity chefs. He’d be a great asset to the show because he’s passionate, knowledgeable, and creative. And more importantly, when it comes to entertainment, he bluntly speaks the truth without sugar coating it or watering it down. He’s like the Joan Rivers of the culinary world, and I’d love to hear his take on Ivanka’s skanky outfits and all the grease in Donald Jr’s hair.
.
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Ina has an MBA from George Washington University and is a former White House nuclear policy analyst, so we know she’s got more than just thoughts of “good vanilla” floating around up there in her brain. She could probably bring a lot of great strategic ideas to the table, and would remain composed during even the most stressful challenges. I’m curious which members of her endless circle of gay friends would come through as a big donors in the clutch. Mostly, though, I just want to see how many days she could exist away from Jeffrey before her head explodes.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Stupidest Tweets To Celebrity Chefs: Part 1---NEW RULE: Stop Asking Celebrity Chefs To Re-Tweet STUPID SHIT
---Celebrity Chefs In Drag
---Ironic Celebrity Chef Garbage Pail Kids
---Ironic Celebrity Chef Garbage Pail Kids
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41 Responses
I might even watch this silly show if Sandra Lee were on it – the possibilities of her making a complete fool of herself are endless!
Imagine Aunt Sandy vs. Sharon Osborn! I’d watch.
They should have put Sandy on the season they had Dennis Rodman. What a pair of drinkin’ buddies they would have made! I`ll be Rodman would have pierced her nipples before he banged her!
Ina gets my vote! i agree, even under the most celeb-stressful moments she would remain cool as a “good” cucumber.
she could prolly talk circles around The Donald and he would not even know it. and we all know how much food Ina can prepare in advance for poor Jeffrey (the beef, er, chicken stew she made him and the ice cream he “finds” in the freezer….) besides while she is away he can turn the tables and have HER gay cardshark/movie/old BC friends over for cocktails and pate…..
or bring Giada on and everyone can stare at her boobs and not listen to anything she has to say…
God help me, not Andrew Zimmern…unless he learns to chew with his mouth closed first. That man is unwatchable.
But you just KNOW he would eat that cockroach Jillian mentioned! ;)
At least he won’t say he’ll eat that cockroach off a flip-flop and call it “slamma-jamma-munnie-hunnie”.
Good point, Liz! He’d probably prefer it grilled over a NYT-fired grill! ;)
He IS unwatchable – I agree. He’s Mario Smugtali, minus the gallon of sweat. A couple of bourgeois pigs those two are!
I’d love to see Ina and Sandra on at the same time. You just know that Ina could only take so much of Sandra.
Also, Darryl Strawberry is still a loser. Big surprise.
Would LOVE to see Ina and Sandra together. I’ll never forget that one episode of BC where Ina’s was setting a table and said “I just hate when people start talking about tablescapes”. AMEN!
C’mon Jillian girl, are you trying to say that you don’t like my mate Curtis?!? He’s just there for eye candy, for the enjoyment of the female part of audience, he doesn’t have to be intelligent or even funny, he just has to smile nicely…
Hey! The title says “5 Chefs,” but there’s only 4. Where did the fifth one go? :(
Andrew Zimmern ate him (or her). And yes, that was my first thought, too- where is #5?
Maybe Gordon Ramsay did it. He looks like he’s showing us that he finished chewing. “See? All done!”
No, that face that Gordon is making is the EXACT same one that I make after the eleventy billionth time I hear him utter the word “vibrant” on “Kitchen Nightmares”, after he revamps the menu of a doomed restaurant. I love that show, but all the “vibrancy” is getting to me.
Oh watching Aunt Sandy would be hystical!!! I’m one for the train wrecks.
What is up with Curtis Stone? He’s so cheesy, I was having a hard time believing he was even a real human. He seems like a cyborg or something.
That man needs to stop drinking the Kool Aid NBC is giving him.
Curtis Stone reminds me of Mr. Bentley from The Jeffersons.
EXACTLY! I knew he reminded me of someone!!!
I would sort of love to see Ina school the Donald about what constitutes a GOOD toupee.
I can imagine her gays just swooping in and making him over.
He could really use it. I have a feeling that Ina’s gays would make him look like a centerpiece though. Trump would just end up covered with clumps of hydrangeas.
I just saw Curtis Stone for the first time on “The Biggest Loser”. I had no idea who he was, this moderately attractive fellow who was being squealed at by more-than-moderately large females like Taylor Lautner at a “Twilight” premiere. Am I out of the loop? or do I just need to spring for cable TV?
He had a fun show called “Take Home Chef” in which he scoped out gals shopping for groceries and offered to buy food for a nice dinner, go home with the gal, and show her how to prepare the meal for her significant other/family as a surprise for them.
Spring for it, COoFH! ;)
Ewww. Zimmern? SERIOUSLY? I think he’s the absolute opposite of down-to-earth. I think he’s pretentious. And fake. And frankly, insulting to the cultures that he visits (“Look at this gross stuff these people eat guys! Oh, I’m gonna eat it – how crazy is that, me eating something this weird and disgusting?”).
I’d LOVE to see Gordon. He’s by far my favorite chef ever. I think Anthony Bourdain should be added to this list. Either of the two would be awesome to watch.
I don’t normally watch “Celebrity Apprentice”. But I would if Gordon Ramsay were on it. That would be hilarious. Donald Trump wouldn’t stand a chance against Gordon; that’s probably why he’s never been on.
Donald Trump Jr. Buttfuck of 2010. Nepotism gone awry.
Gordon Ramsay, ftw! I would love to see him call Donald Trump a shtu-pid donkey! Or Ivanka a lazy cow (is she even on there anymore?).
Gordon Ramsay is the greatest thing to cross the pond. Love him!
I am SO happy someone else noticed how Gordon says “shtupid”!
I hadn’t, actually, but, come to think of it, you’re right! He DOES say it that way (and rather often, at that). I love to watch “Kitchen Nightmares” and “Hell’s Kitchen”, but I’m glad I’m not a contestant. I suspect that Chef and I wouldn’t work well together. It’s not called “Hell’s Kitchen” for nothing.
Oh my. I really can’t stand that show, mostly because I can’t stomach looking at “The Donald”. I mean, it just looks like someone beat his hair with an ugly stick. I want to jump through the TV and attack it with a pair of scissors and Dippity Do….oh, and a magic wand. But, if I could choose another chef to star in it, it would be Robert Irvine. I think he could take whatever challenge they are given by the balls and make it happen. That is, if he doesn’t have too many meltdowns.
He does have a lot of meltdowns, doesn’t he?
I thought he got canned from Food Network for faking his resume??
I have not seen this show, but because I think Curtis Stone is damn sexy, I will be seeking it out.
I vote for Aunt Sandy. She’s a marketing genius. Everything is “branding, branding, oh…fresh bottle of brandy, branding, hiccup, branding” with her. She sold scrap metal as a curtain decorating device and built a television empire out of seasoning packets and whipped topping. She’d probably win, too.
Having Ina on the same season would be spectacular though. She’d lose to Sandy Dandy in the boardroom because “good” isn’t a distinctive enough term while “super simple” is memorable. Shudder.
My vote goes to Giada, the only one with a head bigger than Donald’s.
Awesome,as long they make us laugh,a bit of humour goes a long way.Gordon has a fiery tongue..
This post got a response from Andrew Zimmern on Twitter. :)
I love Curtis Stone and think he is doing a great job on celebrity apprentice (one of my fave shows anyway). He is smart for staying out of the spotlight for a few episodes like Sharon Osbourne. If you can run a kichen in a restaurant, keep you hair that hot, stay in shape, not to mention that sexy accent and the way her wears his suit to the boardroom.
Oh, Curtis Stone… I agree that the signature pinstripe apron is a little tired, but then again so is Bobby Flay’s gratuitous use of chipotle chile peppers in everything he cooks. As far as the other chefs are concerned as possible candidates for the show, I’m breaking things down this way…
We can establish that after being on the show for a few minutes:
-Andrew Zimmern would eat some grasshoppers,
-Gordon Ramsay would throw a hissy fit,
-Sandra Lee would make a cocktail, and
-Garten would go on a tangent about using “good” ingredients in her recipes.
And considering those things:
-Zimmern would gross most people out,
-Ramsay would make most people cry,
-Lee would annoy most people with her exaggerated speech (“This is a super special Sunday supper. Yay!!!”), and
-Garten would annoy most people with her “I’m better than you, I’m from the Hamptons” attitude.
So personally, I would rather be approached by a friendly (not to mention mega-HOT) Curtis Stone, not be scared away by the antics of any of the others. But that’s just me. :)
(Great blog, by the way. I just discovered it and I’m loving it.)
I love Ramsay! He is just awesomeeeeee! The F Word, Masterchef, and Kitchen Nightmares are just awesome
Not so much of a fan of Hell’s Kitchen though ^-^;