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General: Food Humor »

Thanksgiving Tips: Helpful DO’s and DON’Ts
Posted on November 25th 2009 by Jillian Madison

Thanksgiving is less than 24 hours away! Don’t panic – we have a few tips that are guaranteed to help your day go smoothly if you are hosting a gathering for your friends and family:

DO cover your turkey with tin foil to prevent excess browning.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DON’T pull a Sandra Lee and create foil replicas of your guests’ heads as place settings.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DO tie your turkey’s legs together to keep them in place.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DON’T tie your guests to their chairs to keep them in place.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DO use a meat thermometer to make sure your turkey is fully cooked.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DON’T stab a guest in the eye
if they say your turkey is “a little dry.”

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DO baste your turkey every 30 minutes.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DON’T boil the baster before using it like Sharon
Stone did in “If These Walls Could Talk 2″

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DO put out your most expensive silverware.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DON’T frisk Nana before she leaves
to make sure she didn’t steal any.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DO invite your best friends.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DON’T invite your best friend’s eccentric acupuncturist.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DO make your pie one day ahead.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DON’T make your pie one month ahead.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DO mention all the things you’re thankful for.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

DON’T mention Viagra.

martha stewart thanksgiving tips

.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Happy Thanksgiving
---Top 10 Turkey Cake Fails From Thanksgiving
---Happy Thanksgiving!
---Thanksgiving Live: This Weekend On Food Network
---5 Best Moments From “Dear Food Network: Thanksgiving Questions”

    12 Responses

  1. hairball says:

    is there pictures

  2. Yes, there are pictures. You guys can’t see them?

  3. CherryRose says:

    Very funny, Jillian! I’m thankful for this website and for all the fabulous folks who contribute here at FNH.

    Best wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving!
    CherryRose and TooHotTamales

  4. pwkwsfi says:

    I see them (and they look familiar *wink wink*).

    Happy Thanksgiving, kids!

  5. BOO says:

    As much as I thought I would miss cooking….. I’m getting over it real fast!!! Thanks Jillian!

    And! Yes, I know about the FOIL!

  6. Motzi Greps says:

    If your grandpapa could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy! :P

  7. Di says:

    Maybe they should make disposable basters ;)

    Happy Thanksgiving, all!!!
    (I’ll be violating tradition this year and going OUT for dinner with my neighbor.)

  8. hairball says:

    I wonder why I can not see them, I see the news ones just put up

  9. Martin says:

    Happy Thanksgiving Jillian… Thanks for making me smile today and every day!

  10. Bonzy22 says:

    HAHA lmaoo, Just when i think Jillian cant out-do herself, boom! lmao.

    p.s. how do I add a pic to the avatar??

  11. Betty Crocker says:

    Bonzy22, for help with your avatar pic, e-mail Jillian via the link under the “Contact” tab at the top of this page. Hope that helps.

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