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Rachael Ray Lunches Coming To A School Near You (Seriously)
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In today’s edition of “Things That Sound Like Something FNH Made Up, But Are Unfortunately Real”: As many as 600,000 NYC-area public school kids will soon be feasting on lunch recipes created by Rachael Ray. According to the NY Post, the menus will include “sizzling soft tacos and Southwest roasted chicken and Ray’s own Southwest Yum-o! ranch sauce.”
You hear that, kids? If ever there was a time to brown bag it, that time is NOW.
One of the commenters on the NY Post said it best: “Ray telling kids what to eat is like Bloomberg telling them how to brush their teeth. Pointless.”
Agreed. Now let’s just hope she doesn’t try to serve these poor kids her Rouladen…
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Rachael vs Guy: Celebrity Cookoff Is Coming---Ridiculous Recipe Of The Week: RACHAEL RAY’S BROWN BUTTER
---Fantastic Album Cover Lunches
---Ridiculous Recipe Of The Week: Rachael Ray’s Root Beer Floats
---Rachael Ray’s CORN PORN Video (SFW)
- Rachael Ray
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59 Responses
They really should double check the recipe list, she does market a line of dog foods after all…
Bark-o!
Has she had cheek implants? And the Van Zant headwrap is NOT working. Didn’t see partner up with Clinton’s healthy lunch program?
Is Ratched trying to make more money than Oprah? ;)
Nasty rolled beef with a PICKLE inside? WHO would eat this?
Rayray’s head looks distorted, like the do-rag on her head is too tight and caused her face to pop out. Strange.
The top photo is a photoshop! I put her face on the body of a mean looking lunch lady. That’s why it looks odd. :)
That beef dish looks like one of Isaboo’s creations.
The food here in New Haven Public Schools is pretty bad, and my daughter eats half of the meals so maybe RR’s is an improvement.
You got me, Jillian! You got me!!
I know you didn’t, but please tell me someone photoshopped the shiny, poo-like quality of her Rouladen! ewwwww.
Kids won’t eat that! And I’m not even talking about the platter of dog shit.
It’s an inspired match. She has always reminded me of a mess hall cook, ladling out that slop into a gooey mess on those enormous plates.
@Inawannable: “…my daughter eats half of the meals so maybe RR’s is an improvement.”
How about a lunchbox lunch? RR’s offerings sound SPIcy.
Kids are gonna love her hotdog salad.
Sounds like its peanut butter jelly time for the kids.
A friend and I made that rouladen a while ago to see just how disgusting it is. It was even worse than we thought! I took pictures, I should send them to you guys!
What’ll be next with her…….Hospital food? I pity the patients…..
Hospitals then airlines, then the army.
y’know…I’m right fond of chicken soft tacos. though I’d suggest a nice salsa red or green instead of dumb-o’s sw ranch sauce…
she does some really stoo-pit shit. repeats her self constantly and does it again every day.
And I didn’t think cafeteria food could get any more cheap and disgusting…
Wow, that is an AWFUL photo of Ray-Ray in the NY Post article (not the photo Jillian did here, but the real photo in the source article linked above). Check it out. Hasn’t anyone told poor Rach that glitter eye shadow, shiny lip gloss, and roots-showing dye jobs are not becoming to women of her age? Also, whoever waxes her eyebrows should be tarred and feathered. Sheesh.
Have to add something here: I just looked at the reviews for Ray-Ray’s rouladen recipe (linked above in the main post), and some of them are absolutely hilarious. The most recent one is particularly funny. Best quote: “This was single-handedly the most repulsive dish I have ever cooked.”
Talk about a coincidence! Some family was in town earlier today. We were talking about Rachael Ray, and I showed then that disgusting picture of the rouladen. And that was before it was posted here again. Too funny.
Since when has RayRay actually devised a recipe. And tacos? FGS, there isn’t a school lunch staff in America that doesn’t know how to make tacos.
Has she ever?
Why is she doing Southwesten flavors? I thought that way B. Flay’s niche. Besides, I caught some her show on QVC last nite. She served some “chilli” that was a soupy mess. Then her sister came out to help her sell her bakeware.
The rouladen looks like putrid intestines that have begun to liquefy and become moldy. Yummo!
By the way – not to be outdone by Rachael Ray – Jamie Oliver today posted a new app on the iPhone App Store named “Jamie Oliver’s 20 Minute Meals.” He is charging $7.99 for 50 meals that cook in 1/3 less time than Rachael’s. In his description he signs off by wishing us all “big love” and sends us all kisses “xxx”. I can wait for Rachael’s response Jamie’s new app which is clearly ripping off her signature culinary point of view.
Shoot, I wish I had an iPhone, Martin. I’d love to get those recipes from Jamie Oliver. Sounds like a deal to me! And no doubt much better than Ray-Ray’s crap on a plate. I wonder if Jamie will be offering the recipes for purchase online as well.
Hey I’m an actual lunch lady, and I take offense that this no-talent, over-exposed,so-called “chef”, is representing my profession. Piss off!
I agree with Pat. The amount of fame this woman has amassed by loudly proclaiming her ignorance of the tools of her profession never ceases to amaze me. I admit that SOMETIMES when I cook, I put in a pinch of this or that, measuring is so important for consistent results. I’m a RN, is it ok to tell people that I don’t know how to use a stethoscope, or measure out the correct dose of medication?
Another question why RR? Isn’t Ellie Kreger more qualified for this job?
Thanks for letting me rant. :-)
I wonder if that knife is to be used on anyone that doesn’t like her food.
Jamie Oliver is on a quest to make sure that kids actually eat healthier and tastier food than the ones that are being currently served in schools. He’s been on this quest in both sides of the Atlantic and it hasn’t been easy. a few years back in one British school, some parents got the bright idea to protest Jamie’s abolishment of junk food by sending them over to their kids when dropping them off or going over to the fences to sneak any offensive goodie there. But Mr. Oliver has persisted in terms of getting kids to eat better in order to reduce the problem of obesity around the world.
What Rachael is doing is probably stealing a bit of that idea from Mr. Oliver but that doesn’t mean that’s going to imprve the quality of the school lunches. After seeing that dogpoop of a Rouladen, if I were still in school, I’d do the same thing I did all throughout from Kindergarten thru High School: brown bagging it.
Future reference: Rent Super Size Me, a brilliant documentary with Morgan Spurlock, There was asegment about school lunches that may shock you and thereis a company that is trying to steer kids toward healthier nutritious food.
YUMMO? More like ICKO! (Referring to the dogshit)
I went to read the reviews of this at FN.com, and all I have to say is that anyone who gave it more than one star must either be blind and have no taste buds or they are a plant.
I heard that prison food was next on RR’s agenda. So far she’s developed ‘Lockdown Lasagna’ and ‘Son of Sam Sammies’…..
@Suebee: Those are perfect messipe names.
I would say that dish deserves a 9.5 on the Barf- O- Meter. Glistening meat has never been my thing.
Don’t know if you guys have ever seen James Lileks’ Gallery of Regrettable Food- HILARIOUS- stuff like this from old cookbooks with brilliant commentary from Lileks.
I adore the “Gallery of Regrettable Food!” From the intro on the website’s homepage: “This is a simple introduction to poorly photographed foodstuffs and horrid recipes.” I can’t even pick out a favorite topic or entry from the site, as they’re all so funny. Here’s the link: http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/
Enjoy!
Yumm……..green syphilitic penii……………
Yeah, and the kids will get little condiment packets of EVOO.
Ah, the return of the alien slug larvae. With food that looks like this in our kids’ schools our kids will certainly be eating less unhealthy food – through nausea and loss of appetite.
Patrina, what branch of the military were you in? I’ve had far worse food at peoples homes and drive-thrus than when on base.
That aside, the amount of food/money our country spends on school meals is astounding. I pray, pray the NYC government is wasting even more tax-payer money paying RR. She, as a New Yorker, should be proud to do this for her fellow citizens, and better not be taking cash.
I’m so sure the current lunch staff are thrilled to have to re-learn how to cook.
Rachael Ray is to healthy eating what Hitler was to Poland.
@Modaho: I remember watching her fry bacon in EVOO. Enough said.
The people working in the school lunch lines aren’t chefs, either. Your hate for Rachel is clouding your memories of the how rancid school food is. The vegetables were GREY!!! It’s EXTREMELY important that SOMEONE ANYONE take this issue seriously. And while I am not crazy about Oliver, he does do a lot of philanthropic work for kids and teens. He’s a good guy. British food, like their dentistry, is horrendous — which is why their new foodie culture has rocketed. The majority of their school meals is “chips” or fries with a side of meat. Google what a “chip buddy” is. It’s not your buddy.
I agree with DankDillweed. Yes, military food is not bad. And anyone who has ever enlisted will not complain about the food. It’s the last thing on their minds.
If I found out that Ray billed the NY School District, I would boycott her for sure. It’s like charging the homeless for remodeling their homes. Granted she’s not a trained chef, but I bet any mom could make better food than the slimy, watery cheese enchiladas with grainy dog food meat sauce the schools served.
You can call me Ray Ray, or you can call me Jay Jay, but you certainly can’t call me fit for designing school lunches when there are about a million people more qualified then me.
–Rachel Ray
I checked out Rayray’s website. There’s a link to “Yum-o”, which is a multifaceted non-profit organization. The focus is to teach kids and parents how to eat healthy as well as feed hungry kids (through various partner organizations). The third focus is to fund educational programs through scholarships and reward schools that have healthy eating programs.
I don’t think after reading about ‘Yum-o’ that Rayray is getting any money for her time or efforts.
Byrdie, wow, impressive. Not RR, but your research. I guess she does do good deeds, but whenever government gets involved (especially here in Chicago), my eyebrows go up and my skeptic meter goes crazy.
If we see the lunchroom staff with a bunch of orange handled items, my skepticism is going off the freakin’ charts.
Oh, and the fuckin’ Bears suck big donkey balls. 28-0 Cincinatti, and still got time left in first half!
Dank, I’m the first one in line to be sarcastic and snarky on these FN ass clowns. But, when someone is TRULY doing something worth while, I have to give credit where credit is do, and Rayray is giving back with a worthwhile effort.
Now, don’t get me started on government. I hear you loud and clear and I agree one hundred percent. Haven’t trusted them, don’t trust them and never will trust them.
And by the way, LMFAO on the orange handled comment!!
Thanks Byrdie, What’s Ray’s doing is actually pretty noble. How many successful people actually give back to begin with? Many people who become rich seem to spend all their time conserving their money. I got paid in quarters by a classless woman carrying a LV bucket bag as a waitress. One art critic paid me in quarters.
Now that I researched it, there are unethical-iffy areas about Oliver’s philanthropy, too, but he has made a difference. I think she’s actually pretty sincere about it. Until someone more qualified steps up, kudos to her.
you go JTT and Byrdie- class is always a step-up! Hey! As a child we all loved to make fun of our food. It really gave us something to talk about AS WE ATE IT!
Nothing wrong with capitalism- MY POV in this country. I am sure your family members made it here and worked very hard for their relatives to have a better lives/quality of life to stay here and prosper and we welcomed that -even when things were hard at the time in the US
EWWW! That dish looks vile! I’m getting the dry heaves just looking at it…
Did anyone else see the Dirty Jobs episode with the geoducks? Yeah, that’s what that…”dish” reminds me of.
Rachael serves her school lunch, with a side of cockroaches?
http://gothamist.com/2009/10/27/rachael_ray_recipe_feeding_thousand.php
Well, what can one do. School lunches aren’t going to become clean, safe and tasty in a single day ….
I love Mike Rowe and his comments as he plucked the goeducks from under the water! LMFAO every time. Ever eaten one?
And by the way, the Rouladen looks more like something the geoguck may have pooped out…
didn’t Jamie Oliver already do this?
Why Tribeca and not an area where kids actually GO HUNGRY? This mirrors her dog food line: part of the proceeds go to a shelter in the fucking HAMPTONS. I guess she has to impress her gays and Beth Stern. Go to the Bronx or Jersey City or Camden or someplace like that with these “philinthropic” ventures and get back to me.
Two words: TAX SHELTER.
I wonder if Ms. RayRay would actually serve her own creations. This reminds me, I miss RRSux.com
Oh, wait, she did. Well, good for her!