Sandra Lee »
Angelina Jolie Made A Semi-Homemade Cake (Yeah, Riiiight)
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You know it’s a slow news week when People magazine runs a gossip article involving someone on the Food Network. That’s just what happened on Friday, when Sandra Lee got herself some publicity by claiming Angelina Jolie made one of her craptacular Semi-Homemade cakes for her son Maddox.
Riiiiight. Sure she did. And I’m the virgin Mary.
Get ready for the bullshittiest quote you’ll ever read in your life:
“I was really surprised when her friend let me know she made my No Bake birthday cake,” Sandra said. “She’s a Semi-Homemade mommy just like the rest of us! She’s a very busy, overextended mother. I’m very proud not just that she made my cake but that someone of her stature isn’t delegating these [tasks], like her children’s birthday, to other people. I’m glad she loves the show and that the kids apparently also watch it too.”
Let’s talk a little bit about that quote, shall we?
1. Her “friend” said she made one of your cakes, Sandra? Which “friend” might that be? Could you be more intentionally vague, you name dropping media whore?
2. Why is Sandra Lee now referring to herself as a “mommy?” She’s never birthed a child, nor is she married to anyone with children. Face it: the only thing Sandra Lee’s nursing is that 2nd bottle of vodka.
3. Even IF Angelina made one of Sandra’s shitty cakes, that doesn’t mean she “loves the show” as Sandra stated. It simply means Angelina googled “I’m busy and need to make a quick birthday cake so I can fly to Ethiopia and adopt another child” – and wound up on SemiHomemade.com.
4. I will bet you 5 million dollars Angelina’s kids do not watch Semi Homemade.
5. It’s sort of funny that the only way Sandra Lee can get a mention in People magazine is by alleging St. Angelina made one of her cakes, isn’t it?
We’re sorry. Angelina Jolie could not be reached for comment. She was too busy trying not to vomit after eating her Semi-Homemade cake.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Sandra Lee’s Semi-Homemade Wedding Cake---Semi-Homemade: I Miss The Old Days
---A Closer Look At A Semi-Homemade Show Intro
---Semi-Homemade: Was That A Transgender?
---Brycer’s Birthday Party: Just The Crazy Stuff [Semi-Homemade]
- Sandra Lee
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40 Responses
Sandrunk Lee just can’t get enough of herself, now can she?
I hate name droppers! Get over yerself Sandra Lee
Why does anyone give a shit what sort of cake Angelina Jolie makes? I don’t understand the public fascination with celebrity.
“The ‘No Bake birthday cake’ involves buying a white sheet cake at the store, topping it with a white round cake and the surrounding the massive pile of cakey goodness with cupcakes and and cookies!”
Huh? How is that even considered a recipe? That just involves buying a bunch of shit and piling it all together.
I suspect that “Angelina Jolie” was actually “Octomom.”
Amy: “Huh? How is that even considered a recipe? That just involves buying a bunch of shit and piling it all together.”
Ditto Amy, if it was like the wedding cake and cookies disaster one she did, it was HIDEOUS!
NO f’ing way Mz. Jolie served that cake, no way. Or made it either. WTH?
This reeks of totally made up. I can’t imagine that Angelina Jolie would do this then rave about it to a friend, expressly mentioning Aunt Drunky and her wreck – I mean, show – in the process. And if she actually did, well … I’ve got one more reason to question Ms. Jolie’s sanity.
Ok let’s assume St.Angie did decide to make this cake herself despite all the millions at her disposal and all the amazing bakeries in the South of France (assuming that’s where they’re living at the moment, I’m not updated on their current location). So assuming she did make it, the most unbelievable part of this story for me is that of all the people on this planet and all the things that could’ve been done instead, Angie’s friend decided to personally reach Sandra Lee (because she is such a HUGE celebrity!). I call BS.
“media loving whore” – LOL! funny shit.
Her “no-bake” cake sounds like more work than just buying a box of Duncan Hines. Who can’t handle measuring water and oil and breaking a few eggs? And to actually bake the cake?
Just the fact that Angelina may have done this does not mean I am inclined to do it too.
If Angelina shops for cake the way she shops for children then this story isn’t difficult to fathom.
Angelina’s STATURE? As what? a tatooed, half ass actress who selfishly adopts children to make her image better? That stature??
I’m sure Angelina bought a birthday cake for her son, but it was probably an expensive cake from a good bakery, not the sugary cakes they sell in everyday grocery stores that are covered in shortening. And the mere fact that Angelina bought a cake and might have doctored it up a bit with some other decorations means it is a “no bake” cake? Sounds like Sandra took a story and ran with it. And yeah I’m a little offended that she is calling herself a busy “mommy.”
Right from the get-go, this sounds fishy. I don’t think St. Angie has many friends outside of her family, and if they were I don’t think those friends would go around chatting with Aunt Sandy anyway. So, to Aunt Sandy, anyone who buys a store-bought sheet cake from the supermarket and then doctors it up with cookies is following her “russipe”? What a delusional, narcissistic twat.
Come to think of it, that makes Sandy and Angie a good match.
How could this shit be no-bake when someone actually baked the damn cake? Well, in that case, I went out to dinner last night and had a no-grill steak and no-steam veggies, since I didn’t do it myself!
Guys, guess what? Angelina Jolie’s friend told me that Angie reads Food Network Humor EVERY SINGLE DAY!
So do the kids!
I’m so proud that a woman of her stature takes time out of her busy “making crappy movies” schedule to read this site herself, instead of delegating such duties to her personal chef!
Angelina’s friend told me that Angelina told her that Brad told Angelina that Brad is totally in love with me.
Here is a video of Aunt Sandy making her Angelina-famous “No Bake” cake with Mario Lopez. I refuse to believe that anybody with eyesight or taste buds would create that cake. Ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cpd6rHIfyA
She said that she has made this cake for birthdays, weddings and anniversaries. First, if I were a kid and this shit were to show up as my birthday cake, I would be pissed off and start a riot. Now, if this were my wedding or anniversary “cake,” I would view it as some sort of evil omen that my marriage was doomed, unless I had married my cousin and then this would be the top of the line in class.
Angelina did indeed make this cake. it was for her son though.It was for Billy Bob Thornton . Billy Bob’s friend told me.
Carl told me he liked french fried potaters and potted meat!
It might be true.
Only a starving kid from Ethiopia would eat that crap.
Her quote reminds me of the grade school game called Gossip or Telephone, where one person tells a secret then it goes down the line. It probably started out as Angelina held a viewing party to find which FN show was the worst and came up with Sandra’s show and Angie made fun of the no bake cake, and wanted to submit it to Cakewrecks, then Angie’s “friend” (aka the National Enquirer) told Sandra who told People…and now, here we are.
Wowza. Maybe Sandy should have rethought this particular piece of media whoring. I’m not one of the masses who believes AJ to be drop-dead gorgeous, but when I see a side-by-side of her and Auntie S? Yikes, Sandy. Yikes!
An actual mommy no, but the haunted longing and awkward over-affection for the Brycer makes for some good TV.
I can’t even believe Sandra Lee made this cake in the first place. Anything other than covering up her embarrassment and trying to put that whole episode behind her surprises me, and to resurrect that hideous segment by mentioning that someone famous made it, so therefore it must be a valid, delicious and worthwhile recipe is unreal. Sandra please lay off the vodka…you can make your semi-homade crapcake for the local chapter of the Alcoholics Anonymous the next time a member gets their 90-days-sober chip. What a dumbass!!!
I refuse to believe that Angelina made a cheesy cake for her son’s b-day. Maybe she made a cake for the hell of it…and it just so happens that someone gave her Sandra’s recipe (because it was the easiest they could find).
She was probably talking with OctoMom, but was too drunk to tell the difference.
Can’t Standy finally read about her confectionery abortions on cakewrecks.com and decided that she better do her idea of damage control. Umm, yea.
Wait until December when Sandy will tell us how a friend of Halle Berry told her that Halle made …….. the famous Kwaanza cake!
Then we will KNOW it is bullshit, because there is no way in hell anyone but Sandy has ever made that cake.
Saw an interview in which Sandy refers to herself as a chef.
“She’s a Semi-Homemade mommy just like the rest of us!”
No Sandy, not like the rest of “us.” To begin with, Angelina actually has children. Unless there is something about Brycer you haven’t fully disclosed…
“She was probably talking with OctoMom, but was too drunk to tell the difference.”
Or that other dumb blonde, Kate Gosselin.
Kate wouldn’t make a Can’t Standy cake because it’s not “organic.” She’s one to preach about the virtues of organic products. Look at her hair and skin tan.
Its often hard for us to judge what is genuine and what is just for the cameras with celebrities. But I have always heard good things about her, so maybe she really does take an active role in things like baking cakes.
What’s up with all the ragging on Sandra Lee? What difference does it make if she said Angelina, Brad, Santa Claus or Jack the Ripper made one of her recipes or used one of her ideas, so what?
Have any of y’all even made anything that’s “semi-homemade?” I have and let me tell you this–Not only did the food taste WONDERFUL but also, the theme AND the table were spot on!!! Quite frankly, it saved my azz!!
I started to panic when my wild and crazy friends sprang a last minute “Lets all get together at Red’s house tonight!” Not knowing what I was going to do, I sat at the computer, thought of Sandra Lee, and the rest is history. I used her ideas, her recipes, and there you have it! It was a big time SUCCESS!!! Trust me when I tell you this, if you knew my friends, you’d know without a doubt if something sucked, they’d be the VERY FIRST to tell you AND in no uncertain terms!!!
Dam y’all, give the woman a break! Frankly, I appreciate the fact that someone came up with the idea of “Semi Homemade.” Its saved me more than once come to think of it especially when something was sprung on me last minute.
Cut her some slack would ya? Who gives a rats azz where any of the comments came from or who said them? “The proof is in the pudding” as my Nana use to say and for me, Sandra’s have been right on time when I needed them.
If they rag on you if you aren’t the perfect Seni-Ho Made host (or hostess), they’re not your friends, Red.
SeMi-Ho! Semi-Ho! Must check before posting.
2. Why is Sandra Lee now referring to herself as a “mommy?” She’s never birthed a child, nor is she married to anyone with children. Face it: the only thing Sandra Lee’s nursing is that 2nd bottle of vodka.
Why is it such a big deal that she ISN’T a mother? If society didn’t pressure women into thinking it’s required for us to have children to be SEEN as women, she wouldn’t feel the need to refer to herself that way.