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Paula Deen On PhotoshopDisasters
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Photoshop Disasters is a truly funny site. They skewer awful looking, poorly manipulated photos that are supposed to have been professionally edited. On Wednesday, they featured Paula Deen on the cover of her July/August 2009 magazine. And as they wrote, “Looks like Paula Deen is now employing a pageant retoucher for her magazine covers.”
Did I mention the people who comment on that site are equally HILARIOUS? Check out the funniest bits about Miss Pauler, while I find some brain bleach to scrub out the images of those Photoshopped pageant children:
“…except that they forgot to do that neck that looks like Peter Stringfellow’s foreskin. Otherwise, very nice work.” -David
“…Christ, put it out of it’s misery. The poor beast has chronic cataracts and has seemingly jabbed its hand/claw into a tray of food.” -Chad.Schofield
“1. Take a cooking star whose entire image is centered on being grandmotherly.
2. Poorly photoshop her in an attempt to make her look younger.
3. ????
4. Profit!”
-John Wood
“What’s always disturbed me about Paula Deen (besides numerous PhotoshopDisasters of her) is the fact that she never *really* smiles for photos—it’s always teeth only and dead doll eyes.” -Jenn
(Thanks for the tip, Claire!)
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Why, Paula Deen, Why!---New Teeth Options For Paula Deen
---Paula Deen On The View
---If Paula Deen Was President…
---How Many People Does It Take To Make A Paula Deen Commercial?
- Paula Deen
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30 Responses
“What’s always disturbed me about Paula Deen (besides numerous PhotoshopDisasters of her) is the fact that she never *really* smiles for photos—it’s always teeth only and dead doll eyes.” -Jenn
“Dead doll eyes”. Awesome….I wish I came up with that, it couldn’t be any more accurate.
If you lay the mag down, do the eyes automatically close?
I saw that magazine in person, its probably 3 pictures all mashed together. They gloss Paula up to look purty and there is no way she’s holding anything but a wad of money.
Wow. That’s just wrong. ugh.
Zombie Paula wants braiiiiiinssssss (with butter.)
Wow. It’s truly eerie and hypnotic… like the pic is trying to hypnotize me into buying a copy.
Actually, the zombie-like quality reminds me of this:
http://www.theonion.com/content/magazine/how_to_stay_goth_past_50
Looks like some of Paula’s pounds were photochopped, too.
I have Pauler’s 2007 Christmas book and she’s ‘younger, thinner, and bluer-eyed’ than she is in this shot.
oops….more grandmotherly, plumper and less blue-eyed in 2007.
I wonder how they airbrushed all that pastry out of her choppers? Good job!
For something truly frightening, click the link to Photoshop Disasters and then click “pageant retoucher” in the text below Paula’s picture. Those poor girls don’t even look real.
I also bought Pauler’s Christmas mag last year, but threw it away because of the creepy photos of her. The magazine simply consists of photos of Paula, photos of food, and photos of Paula holding the food.
You know, every once in a while I feel like we are too cruel to Poopy. Everybody needs some POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT now and then, even Pauler. So here is what I have to add: I am POSITIVE that her face is REINFORECED with Dr. Plastico’s “Cackle Spackle”.
Wait a minute … I thought Brad PITT starred in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” – not Paula Deen. The woman gets younger and younger LOOKING every time I see her. She must bow down and given thanks to the Photoshop Gods nightly.
“For something truly frightening, click the link to Photoshop Disasters and then click “pageant retoucher” in the text below Paula’s picture. Those poor girls don’t even look real.”
I did click on the link and wished I hadn’t. I don’t know who to pity more: The parents who encourage this or the children who must endure the primping.
She’s got some mad balancing skillz, though. Holding all that beefy goodness on the fingertips of one hand!
@Delmer: The magazine simply consists of photos of Paula, photos of food, and photos of Paula holding the food.
…photos of FAKE Pauler, photos of SHELLACKED or PLASTIC food, and photos of Pauler holding the INEDIBLE food.
It was spooky Delmer!
OMG! I just looked at the pix of the pageant girls. Horror of horrors! Cherry, put me on the “I wish I hadn’t” side of the list. Gads. Do you know what they remind me of? There was a man back at the turn of the century (1900′s) that stole the corpse of his love and kept her in his home. He preserved her by putting morticians wax on her face. That was just soooo creepy, and that is what these little girls look like. EWWW. Creepy beyond measure.
@Byrdie: I wasn’t thinking quite that far back – LOL!
Those parents surely know what happened to JonBenet Ramsey, and they still want their children to look like this? What are they thinking?
There’s something intrinsically wrong with a parent WANTING their child to look like that. Pageant parents are odd.
My apologies to any pageant parent foodies.
It’s just too creepy for words. I’m not sure what parents are thinking when they put their little daughters in pageants either, Oh Come On. I’ve never understood what is to be gained? JMHO, but delivers the message loud and clear that physical beauty is what’s important. Wrong message if you ask me.
Wow, Paula’s eyes look like those wax-girls’ eyes. What aren’t any of the little tykes smiling with open mouths? Because their teeth haven’t grown in yet? Freaking freaky. Someone should take those little girls away from their parents.
If Paula pairs up a show with Kate Gosselin as is being talked about, I will no longer by any of her products or watch her shows any more, Kate is an idiot and she will make Paula look like an idiot, Kate needs to go home and take care of her kids and grow up, all she is about is lying and getting what she can for nothing, she or Jon don’t have a clue what it’s like to have to work and be real parents, All they know is how to spend every dime thier little kids have made for them. So if Kate is on alot of Paulas fans will be out.
Actually I think Ol Paula looks kinda hot, if youre into Amish Apple Dolls.
Oh God. I have no life. Yesterday I watched a Wife Swap re-run with a pageant mom swapping with a vegan tree-hugger. The pageant photos of the moms little girl were totally like Paula’s vapid, fake, contorted smiling face.
Geez, I need help. Or a drink.
Oh gosh the “doll eyes” reference. They are.
I almost expect that the rest of her might now be totally mechanized, and clockwork-operated, as well :(
Where’s the Paula I used to love and have fun watching !?!
My 22 year old daughter has more wrinkles.
Those chic-lets on Paula are one step away from looking like these:
http://www.doctormacro1.info/Images/Chaney%20Sr.,%20Lon/Chaney%20Sr.,%20Lon%20%28London%20After%20Midnight%29_01.jpg
Looks like Madam Tussaud made a wax sculpture of PD and all the photographers need to do is place new food on her tray and change her shirt for each photo shoot…so much easier than photoshopping those wrinkles out!
This is the stuff that nightmares are made of. She looks like she is going to jump out of the screen and nom me. D-: