POPHANGOVER
DAMN YOU AUTOCORRECT
PARENTS SHOULDNT TEXTS
WRONG NUMBER TEXTS
DAMN FUNNY TEXTS
why siri why
AWKWARD NAMES
PARENT FAILS
EPIC WTFS
WHY DID YOU BUY ME THAT
The Pophangover Network Presents...
GET OUT OF THE MIRROR
REALLY GHETTO
FOOD NETWORK HUMOR
PICSAUCE PIC DUMPS AND VIRAL PHOTOS
The Worst Stuff Ever!
Yeah Flashback 80s 90s retro nostalgia and memories
INVISIBLE CATS
WORK LOLS
The funniest and scariest photos sent to twitpic
MY ROUGH LIFE

Next Food Network Star »

New Taglines For Ten Dollar Dinners
Posted on August 4th 2009 by Jillian Madison

Unless you’ve been living on Mars, you know Melissa D’Arabian was just named the Next Food Network Star, and her new show (called Ten Dollar Dinners) premieres on the Food Network this Sunday at 12:30 EST. They’ve really been pushing the corny tagline they came up with: “four people, ten bucks, infinite possibilities.” Meh. We think that’s awfully boring. Perhaps they should have gone with one of these more realistic taglines instead:

four people, ten bucks, we hope you’re not that hungry!

four people, ten bucks, that’s a feast at Taco Bell.

four people, ten bucks, sorry – that doesn’t include a beverage.

four people, ten bucks, B.Y.O.C. (bring your own condiments).

four people, ten bucks, you like freezer burned pork chops, right?

four people, ten bucks, did I mention I had a nanny?

four people, ten bucks, but look at my $375 sauté pan!



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Food Network Renews Ten Dollar Dinners; The Internet Shrieks In Horror
---Today On Ten Dollar Dinners…
---The New Melissa d’Arabian “Ten Dollar Dinners” Promo Needs To Die
---Twitter Conversations: Melissa D’Arabian’s $10 Dinners
---FNH Review: $10 Dinners With Melissa D’Arabian

    53 Responses

  1. Jon McKenzie says:

    four people, ten bucks, just not in the face, okay?

  2. DesignerJeans says:

    four people, ten bucks, what stays in that Las Vegas hotel room, STAYS in that Las Vegas hotel room.

    four people, ten bucks, Kimchee, THAT”S DEBBIE’s kind of meal BABY!

    four people, ten bucks, a shark, you only have to swim faster then 1 other person!

  3. Amy says:

    Unfortunately, $10 will not get you much at taco bell anymore!!

  4. pwkwsfi says:

    four people, ten bucks, just like in college.

    4x brick ramen $1
    2 six-packs of Mickey’s $8
    add gas to car $1

  5. Byrdie says:

    four people, ten bucks, 20 tacos at Jack In The Box and you won’t be able to hear Mommy Dearest’s yapping voice over all the crunching.

  6. Silvio says:

    Four people, ten bucks, even the Neelys eat better than that.

  7. Malarie says:

    four people, 10 bucks …. kinkyyyy!

  8. *Di* says:

    Does four people mean four adults?
    Are any teenage boys included in this fanciful equation?

  9. CherryRose says:

    “…four people, ten bucks, but look at my $375 sauté pan!”

    How about the designer duds that she’ll be wearing, top-of-the-line hair stylist and makeup artist? She’s already got that mouthful of pearly whites…Melissa’s ready for her closeup!

  10. Carla says:

    Funny. In all seriousness though, I do wonder if this is $10 flat or $10 a serving/person, wish they’d clarify, as that is a BIG difference.

  11. Klaus says:

    lol@Byrdie! Hi, Hi Byrdie, my new pal!

    here’s my jaded cosmpolitan take on this mess:

    ” . . .four people, $10, a real success if two of you are the Olson twins . . .”

    K

  12. Syd says:

    Four people, a ten dollar *bill*, and an 8 ball. Oh, sorry, I was having a flashback.

  13. Byrdie says:

    Klaus! Guten Morgen, mein Freund!

  14. Klaus says:

    Syd, you are speaking my heart language! That takes me back . . . a few weeks. Just kidding!

    Byrdie! ach du Liebe, wo hast du so gut deutsch gelernt? Ich bin in Los Angeles, wo wohnen Sie?

    K

  15. Automne says:

    Melissa thinks she can hawk a $10 4-person meal because she only really has to feed herself and her husband. She has like 12 daughters under the age of 5. Preschoolers don’t eat much and she’s probably still breastfeeding the babies. Wait until they’re a little older. God help her if any of them turn out to be athletes and need bigger meals to compensate for the calorie loss.

  16. FeedingFive says:

    Four people, ten bucks, and avoiding food-borne illness from marked-down meat.

  17. Klaus says:

    Hi Britney, I like the way you fashion some of your posts so they are still “food ” oriented. Cheerful blessings to you!

  18. Princess Crazypants says:

    So you’re in Los Angeles and want to know where Byrdie is, eh? I happen to be in the same state that Melissa’s from. That means her $10 a meal should work well for me considering prices of food here, ha.

    I’m still gonna make that chicken she did on the finale. Maybe I’ll post a photo.

  19. Byrdie says:

    Klaus, Ich weiß genug Deutsch als gefährlich. Ok, I know what my brother taught me after he lived there for four years! And a few words from a cook named Deiter I worked with some eight hundred or so years ago! I’m in Houston, hot, dry, humid, Texas. UGH. NEED RAIN! Somebody do a rain dance !!!!!!

    Princess, I hope you don’t mean the same state as Melissa in that it’s the state of ‘confusion’…..hahahaha

  20. Kev in Delaware says:

    Four people, ten bucks, it’s called cereal.

  21. DenisDuckFat says:

    Four people, ten bucks, the endless shame of porking Guy Fieri for a few pounds of ground chuck.

  22. Cat Chow says:

    Four people, ten bucks = Dinner Impossible

  23. pwkwsfi says:

    Four People, Ten Bucks, Allez Cuisine!

  24. Klaus says:

    Jon McKenzie! I may take you up on that! What a scream!

    Hi Byrdie, O my, dry, arid Texas. I will have my black pug Shazzam! do a rain dance for you. Who else do we hate on the FN? Have we hashed that all out yet? Do we hate Debbie the same amount?

    Princess CP, isn’t Missy from Texas? I know she’s living in Costco, WA now, what with her baldy husband’s new job at Microsoft, so I am confused. Is it Tejas?

  25. Chris says:

    Four people, ten bucks, all you can pick out of the dumpster!

  26. Jun says:

    Four people, ten bucks, I guess your other two kids are starving.

  27. Justin says:

    Four people, ten bucks, and a Rachael Ray sized tip.

  28. Dan says:

    Damn. The “mommies in distress” crowd wins another show. If you cant already feed your kids after watching 30 Minute Meals, Semi-Homemade, Sandra’s Money Saving Meals, 5 Ingredient Fix, How to boil water, Nigella Express, and Quick Fix meals then you probably should have chose not to breed.

  29. itsworthalook says:

    Four People, Ten Bucks – Anyone know when the #8 bus comes?

  30. UGH says:

    Four people, ten bucks ~ Chef Boyardee

  31. UGH says:

    Good one, Cat Chow!!! That’s the BEST!!

  32. Rose says:

    Four people, ten bucks – discover the five star cuisine hidden deep inside your Smart Mop!

  33. Freezezzy says:

    Four people, 10 bucks, $5 footlong x 2. Easy.

  34. *Di* says:

    It’s PANCAKES !
    With one strip of fatty bacon each – for protein.
    And one baby carrot each for vegetable.
    Plus 1/4 of apple for dessert.

  35. *Di* says:

    @pwkwsfi:
    ” Four People, Ten Bucks, Allez Cuisine! ”

    ;)

  36. Megan says:

    Four People, Ten Bucks, 50 Wendy’s chicken nuggets (it’s better than what she’s having).

  37. Gary says:

    4 people, 10 bucks and a quick stop at the McDonald’s drive thru on the way home.

  38. CherryRose says:

    Someone mentioned above that it could be $10 per person and not $10 for the entire meal, but that would be a whole ‘nother show: $40 Meals. Wait! Rachael Ray already did the $40 A Day schtick, so that won’t work. Guess we’ll just have to wait until Sunday to see what the Cheshire Cat pulls out of her magic hat.

  39. Kevin says:

    Four people, ten bucks, here are your Mini Buffalo Ranch Chicken sandwiches! Curly fries extra.

  40. Cat Chow says:

    4 People, 10 Bucks = yet another lame chicken recipie

  41. BobbyFlayFan says:

    I despise shows that are based on how much the host spent because prices are different from state to state. I’m wondering how many things she’s going to use that were “just hanging out in my fridge/pantry” and therefore not count them in her total cost . . . just like Sandra Lee does on the abomination that is Moneysaving Meals.

  42. Stacy says:

    Four people, ten bucks, three hungry.
    Four people, ten bucks, snacktastic.
    Four people, ten bucks, I’m Korean.

    Haiku:
    Four people, ten bucks
    Why must I shop from a bin?
    Please let me spend more.

  43. Byrdie says:

    Klaus, please give Shazzam a Beggin’ Strip for his efforts. Alas, higher humidity but no rain….maybe he could give it another shot! And Debbie, the lying, conniving, underhanded, self-centered, backstabbing, cheating “Korean Seoul to Soul” hot dog stand owner? Isn’t she a sweetheart?!? (pardon while I gag..ack..rrr) May the gods bestow upon her hotdog cart a plague of fruit flies in her pickle relish!

  44. Anon Reader Dude says:

    As something of a Melissa fan, I seriously dislike this concept. TOO CHEAP. Unpleasant. Give the nice lady $20 to feed her family, for #@%!’s sake.

    Think how much more interesting and pleasant stuff you could do with $20 to feed four. “Twenty Dollar Meals” … or if the Marketing suits nix that, something like “Five Dollars a Head.”

    Hmm, though the wags in this thread would have a ball with that one.

    “Five Dollar Meals”? When you feed four, you’re making four meals, not one.

    Anyway, I’d watch and learn from that show. I’m not sure that’s true with the actual show. Maybe she’ll surprise us.

  45. jmsiv says:

    Who in their right mind will watch a show about making the same dinners we already make..Yes I know I can boil a lb of spaghetti, dump in a jar of prego, get a loaf of garlic bread, and a bottle of Walmart wine all for about $10.

    The reason I watch Food Network is to get ideas on what to make for dinner parties or special occasions. Where are those shows? They used to be a good source for the home cook/culinary enthusiast..now, not so much.

  46. Jun says:

    Four people, ten bucks, the pizza delivery boy doesn’t get a tip.

  47. Glock says:

    Four people, ten bucks: Jenny’s weight loss plan ain’t got $*&! on Melissa’s.

  48. Barb says:

    I have a concept for a new show on FN. Three ingredients, 5 bucks, feed a family of eight.

    How about a new show that’s focused on cooking something really new and interesting???

  49. Hakuna Fritatta says:

    New and interesting? FN doesn’t do that.

  50. shauna says:

    New and interesting is Jeffrey.

  51. SMT says:

    JMSIV I agree! I can’t stand the shows these days, i only watch the competitions cuz the contestants are not prepared. they cook from the moment.

    4 people, 10 bucks, 2 bites
    4 people, 10 bucks, on a diet
    4 people, 10 bucks, for my nanny and daughters… husband and i have a flight to catch

  52. Elaine M. says:

    I’ve searched and searched and can’t find Melissa’s show on FN in Washington State. Help!!

  53. WAHEEDA says:

    FOUR PEOPLE TEN BUCKS… COME, DINE IN MALAYSIA..

Post your comments


LEGAL DISCLAIMER / DISCLOSURE/PRIVACY POLICY / Terms of Service
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2011 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved