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FNH Mother’s Day Gift Guide
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Mother’s Day is right around the corner! Is your mom a Food Network fan? If she is, get her a present from the Food Network store – it’ll really show her you care.
We know selecting a gift from the thousands and thousands of items for sale on Food Network’s website can be difficult, so we’ve come up with a handy guide to help you find a gift that’s right for your mom’s individual interests and needs. Good luck!
| Does your mother “work nights” or earn “alternative sources of income?” Or does she have a stripper pole in her bedroom? If so, your mom would probably enjoy…
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| Does your mom have really bad taste? Look around her home. Does she have tacky, cheap, mismatched knick-knacks all over the place? If so, she’s sure to love…
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| Is your mom a snob? Does she wear penny loafers, or have more than 3 gay male friends named David in her iPhone’s address book? Has she ever purchased Ralph Lauren paint from Home Depot? If so, spice up her day with…
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| Does your mother return from the grocery store with only cheap, processed ingredients – and 8 packages of Cool Whip? Does she mention the word “crockpot” more than twice per day? Is she too preoccupied with mixing the perfect martini to devote 10 minutes to putting a healthy meal on the table? You’re in luck! Mom will thank you when she opens…
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| Did your mother drop out of high school? Does she often confuse “their” and “there” while writing letters to her boyfriend in prison? Do her hobbies include chain smoking and swigging tequila out of the bottle? No doubt about it, she’ll love…
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Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---FNH Father’s Day 2011 Gift Guide---Get Excited: Giada’s One Hundred Dollar “Pasta Gift Set” Now Available!
---STAY THE F*CK AWAY FROM MY MOTHER, EMERIL!
---The FNH Guide To Tax Deductions And Credits
---Sasha’s Cake
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We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2011 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2011 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
8 Responses
This is one of the funniest posts I’ve ever read. I’m still laughing!!!
I lost all ability to function after reading “also doubles as a bedpan for incontinent moms.” man. that is some funny sh-t.
Ok I get the Guy Fietti thing now, he hates who he really is and hates REAL life so he needs to invent this “Super Cool” persona to cover up his hurt and his inability to cope with his smothered hope of being less Douchneck.
Dude, this guy is too redneck for Jeff Foxworthy and CMT’s Redneck Wedding show.
Ah, the Gift of Guy. I hope my kids get that for ME for mother’s day! (not) Graye, it’s super easy to figure out Fietti – he has classic ‘little man syndrome.’ Why people flock to him like flies to sh*t is beyond me ….
And I don’t need Sandra Lee’s recipes; though I love my vodka, the crock pot collects more dust than it does dinners. Bankruptcy basket?!? (LOL, that one was brilliant!) I’ll pass. I’d like to send my kids to college one day. Hipster Bowls! Oh gawd, save me.
Think I’ll put the Hoecakes on my wishlist. Totally suits my lifestyle. See y’all in the mornin’!! It’s just about time for me to get undressed for work ….
Lana, he is a pathetic excuse for a “man”, he treats his kid like a bar buddy, and has a blonde version of Chyna (remember her…?LOL) for a wife. Look at him what the hell style is he trying to put together, the manhooves, the mock Soprano’s one, the greaser (oh yeah that one is obvious) from the old school, or the just rolled out of bed and forgot to take my meds to tame the multi persona disorder that plagues his psyche.
Hilarious!! Wicked, Wicked humor. Nothing from Giada?
You’d think Giada would have her own brand of spaaaagheeeeetiii or something.
Lovin’ it!